Akosua Dardaine Edwards

Let's Share Lessons on The Journey

Akosua Dardaine Edwards - author, writer, coach, gender specialist, speaker

 

Filtering by Tag: whyareyouhere?

Forgiveness is Big

In order to truly forgive, each of us must process through the full range of lessons, feelings and emotions associated with the traumatic events in our lives. Blind forgiveness is the easy way out and is usually the route most people prefer. Blind forgiveness is denial and avoidance. It helps people brush things under the rug without ever getting to the root cause of the problem. Unfortunately, this leads to a pattern of recreation in the future because it was never properly addressed. You cannot change a problem with the same state of consciousness that created the problem. Sabrina Reber

For a very long time I believed that forgiveness was about letting the other person off the hook. I never wanted to forgive anyone, I would simply put it out of my mind. As far as I was concerned, the person did not exist and what happened never happened. 

That, my dear friends, does not work. Ignoring and pretending is a sure fire way of bringing the lesson back over and over again.

Sabrina Reber in her book "How To Raise Your Vibration" talks about blind forgiveness, she says

"blind forgiveness is a way for people to avoid truly getting in touch with their feelings. When we avoid our feelings we hold onto them, stuffing them in our energy fields giving them great power. These stuffed feelings become reactive emotions fueling the fires of emotional imbalance, depression, disease and illness in the body. True forgiveness is an energetic experience that occurs when we dissolve and release stuffed traumatic events that are stored in our energy fields"


Forgiveness is big! It is the very thing that releases us from the bonds we hold t the past and propels us forward. Forgiveness of self first, then of others. Many times we give away our power, especially when we refuse to do the work, We hide behind escapsim and religion. We go to church and believe that just being there will exempt us from doing the work. Newsflash is does not, The free will we are given allows us to make choices. If we choose to not do the work and go down that other route our lives will reflect it back to us, the lessons will continue to come until we feel, deal then heal.

According to Sabrina Reber,by allowing our emotions to surface, we can understand and integrate them helping us to dissolve our judgments about ourselves and each other. We can then move into a place of clarity and understanding, choosing to release our pain, while we retrieve the wisdom from the event that will help our soul grow. Once the lesson is learned, forgiveness is an essential step on the path to healing.

Peace


Have you read Akosua's Work?

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

Nyabo(Madam) - Why Are You Here?

Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal

Check out Akosua's Ted Talk Here

Ted Talk - There is Power in Your Story

 

 

Work with Them to Gain Wisdom

We are suppose to learn from our negative emotions.

Get to the root of the issue and transmute the energy into discernment and action. What do you need to do?

If we ignore our negative emotions by suppressing them deep into our subconscious minds or we continue to feed them with negative mind chatter, blame and victim consciousness - we will create our own personal hells on Earth, our own states of hell consciousness, and then we will attempt to drag everyone down with us.

Negative emotions are alarm bells. They are warning signs for us to generate change. Wake up and be conscious of your own negative emotions and work with them to gain wisdom. Then you can tap into a higher level of discernment where you can utilize the strength of your inner will to release any attachments that may no longer serve your highest good. -Sabrina

A combination of suppressing  our negative emotions and not being conscious of our thoughts is really not a very good idea!

I'm just sayin'!

Find a way to express them  - in a healthy way, of course.

Find a way to learn from them. 

Get the wisdom.

Get the lesson.

Do you know who and what are your tests and triggers?

Who gets you mad as soon as they open their mouths?

When you watch the news what do you find yourself swearing at on the screen?

What triggers you to act a fool? To say after your actions - Damm I really ought to have known better. Or to swallow your pride and apologize.

What pisses you off?

I know who and what are mine. (yes I said who!, some people push my buttons, I ain't scared to confess!)

I started paying attention to my triggers.

I keep asking "what are you here to show me? to teach me? 

What can I learn from this? do I want to be this person? 

What needs  healing and attention?

Trust me, I am no enlightened master, sometimes I just get mad vex and buss a cuss or two silently under my breath or I vent with some of my friends (bless em for being so kind and patient) then I go back to asking myself the questions and pray that this reaction becomes less and less the norm.

Attachment of how "it is supposed to be" is one of our biggest challenges but I have learnt when we let go, keep an open mind, the result is astounding.

This is not saying do not have goals, visions, vision boards, these tools on the Journey help to move you to possibility thinking, to cultivate the seeds in your mind, to be receptive to more, to another way.

Do not get attached to the idea of what you think it is supposed to be, you really do not know.

The journey requires it for the adventure to be enjoyed

Peace

Have you checked out any of Akosua's Books?

Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal

Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here?

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

My Purpose if Simple

Where would you have me go?
What would you have me do?
What would you have me say?
And to whom?
–A Course in Miracles

I was speaking with a dear friend, she was pretty excited about sharing what she was doing at the moment. The talk we were having shifted to purpose, she said now, she is clear about what her purpose is and was able to articulate it clearly and directly. She then asked me what was my purpose.

I told her my purpose is how God/Universe decides to use me everyday until I am no longer here.

She asked me if I am sure about that and of I can have more than one purpose.


I arrived at this decision of what my purpose is through surrender, not surrender meaning giving up, surrender meaning totally trusting the Universe to guide me.

I wanted to be an accountant, there was nothing else in my mind that I wanted to be. I did all the qualifications and graduated as an accountant. I wanted to be a Chief Financial Officer and worked hard to become one. I was fired and it rocked my world, I was so lost. Then I decided I wanted to go back to school and get my PhD. I started doing that and my money ran out just at the time I started working with women throughout the world, I wrote a book about that experience and here I am now doing none of that but feeling so purposeful about what I am doing despite all the challenges. I remember listening to Marianne Willamson and she said  that she asked "God what would you have me do and what would you have me say?: That resonated with me so much. It literally woke me up.


I have a message to deliver here  on this planet and once I get out of my way and trust that the message will be delivered and the rest of the details will be taken of.

It sounds simple, it is and it is not. It is simple when I listen, it is not simple when I don't listen.

Your purpose is yours, No one can determine what it is for you.

You know  when you are living your purpose, you know it. It's without question. You are at a peace that passes all understanding.

When you listen to your intuition and be your best highest self your purpose is being served. That is the start.

And my friends, that is simple

Peace

Are You Paying Attention?

Intuition is a sense of knowing how to act spontaneously, without needing to know why.” Sylvia Care

Life gives us so many clues and chances, hardly ever is there  something that happens "immediately" 

we always get some tyoe of signal, the question is what do you do with the signals? Do we pay attention? Do we ignore? Do we listen? Do we act on the signals?

I have learnt that paying attention to the signals is an important part of living a whole life! Ignoring them can at times be disastrous! Be it,

A pain in your shoulder

A nagging feeling about someone you cannot put your finger on

A long lasting cough

Call it intuition, call is signs whatever you call it, trust me, paying attention to it will turn out well for you 

What are some of the signs that you have been neglecting and ignoring?

 

Peace

Day 1 NiNa = Girls

Begin where you are, with what you have. 
When you start a workout, a trainer will tell you, "If you can't touch your toes, reach for your knees. If you can't reach your knees, go for your hips." Iyanla

Today the NiNa Programme launched at a secondary (high) school making this it's 6th year in existence! Who knew? I am pants at keeping count, I don't even keep track of my own age, today Avinash, the teacher attached to the programme mentioned it in his introduction and I just had to say wow!

This programme was one of my life saving tools, in the midst of a seeming life crisis. Fired, no cash, feeling totally alone (by choice, because I did not ask for help) I said, heck I have nothing to lose so why the hell not, I am starting this. It was a leap of faith, I called a few of my friends, I wanted an advisory panel, we met at an office in the South of the Island and talked about how it can be rolled out, Started with an idea and a will, nothing else, not even a dime, a place to host it, or participants.Six years after, the advisory panel is gone as it existed at that time, but in came Mr Ramsubhag and Ms Ready-Toby who are true soldier-angels! the definition of ride or die in my book, and right in front of my eyes the team is expanding- talk about organic growth!

I am excited to see how it unfolds and really grateful for the journey

Today's group was larger than usual, we do have causalties along the way and so I am also excited to see how many are at the finish line in June next year.

Give thanks

Would love your support on this programme that I am involved in

https://www.globalgiving.org/projects/train-6-young-female-leaders-in-south-africa/

Are You Ready and Willing to Grow?

Making mistakes is a sign of growth; of trying something brand new, or so unusual that you don’t recognize it. There can never be growth without trying something new -- there cannot be growth without mistakes. Making mistakes is rewarded by nature, it’s the elimination of possibilities on the road to accomplishment Guru Singh

Raise your hand, right up if you believe in growth? 

Newsflash - if you do and is willing to grow guess what, you are going to make mistakes, things may turn out completely different to what is in your mind. So, if you are afraid, ashamed, unwilling, don't want to rock any boats and maintain the status quo, guess what, there will be no growth

Apply this to everything! Every.single.thing

Diet

Exercise

Jobs

Opening a Business

Writing a Book

and I can continue listing

Shifting a gear, moving to another level requires a change of mindset, a change of action, a self belief, the belief that you may just look "stoopid"

 dropping the defenses and the excuses and justifications for remaining where you are

I've said it and heard most of the excuses and justifications - all designed by us to remain where we are and have a "reason"

the kids

the economy

the job

the timing

the husband

the wife

the car

the money - oh the money

yada yada yada

Just do one thing different every day, one thing, and start from there

every little drop fills a bucket

Peace

My Responsibility

Tell my doubts that they can die today
Imma catch me a wave, sail away
Can't stop me now
Tell depression it can fly away
Tell my doubts that they can die today
Imma catch me a wave, sail away
Can't stop me now LeCrae


Today is a holiday in the country of my birth- Trinidad  and Tobago. We celerate Emmancipation Day. A holiday declared to celebrate the abolition of slavery on the island. This is the 25th anniversary of this declaration of holiday. People had to fight and convince the leaders of the day that a holiday was essential,the same people who fought for the holiday were riduculed, laughed at and ignored, called mad people! Now 25 years later, this is a holiday, we pay homage to the one's who paved a path for us to live a different life.


I reflect on this day annually. there is usually a big celebration, a huge parade. I have stopped going, people don't understand why. I have never explained. I like to spend the time alone reflecting on this responsibility I have been given by those who came before me

I sometimes get scared, truth be told, what am I really doing with this responsibility to do better, to be better, to honor what those before me did? Am I doing anything?

Those that went before me fought, they sat down and didn't move, they prayed, they worked but most importantly they had a dream, a vision that things will change, that this too shall pass

That is so much inspiration right there for me, inspiration overload!

How do I step into these shoes? It scares th shits out of me, so I stay at home, and reflect

and today I pledge to move even thoughscared, to do the same thing, dream big, visualize better than today and work, pray and move towards that!

 

I am ready!

Give thanks

Peace

 

 

 

The Book Tour - Washington DC - July 2017

clarity of desire, root into the depths of positivity, fend off doubts with Faith, and repeat. Every minute of every day, give or take. Danielle La Porte

 

Next week my book tour begins! I wanted this. The Universe responded! to have the opportunity to read at such historic spots - Busboys & Poets, Sankofa Books and Videos! I am so grateful for this opportunity and to all who played a part in making this happen, I could not do it alone. 

And so the preparation begins

Spread the word

Tell your friends

Akosua is coming to DC

Get Ready

 

Your Feelings Are Powerful

When we allow ourselves to feel our present moment feelings we can respond from our heart and not from our past wounds or our future concerns and worries. 

Unprocessed feelings become distortions that also lead to illness and dis-ease. When we ignore our feelings, because we don’t want to feel the pain, we stuff them in our energy fields where they begin to fester. Eventually, our denied feelings move into the physical body and announce themselves as an imbalance, illness, pain, virus or disease. When we are connected to our feelings and allow ourselves to fully process through them so we can release them, we become a clear vessel fully connected to the guidance of our soul and spirit. When we block, stuff or ignore our feelings our body will respond with a pain or symptom and let us know when we are out of alignment with our truth

When we allow ourselves to pause at our feelings instead of ignoring them or leaping forward into our emotions, we put ourselves in a place of power. Sabrina Reber

Over the past couple of days I have not been on 100% healthy vibes. As soon as that happens I know it is an internal feeling that is stuck inside me begging for an outlet. It happens when I default into not feeling the feelings, not releasing the anger, resorting to old habits. It happens when I am either not paying attention or refuse to pay attention

I have learnt that there are healthy ways to release, and using them is a part of my spiritual practice

1. Writing a letter to myself detailing all of the feelings, after I have read it - I burn it

2. Writing a letter to the person especially if I feel I am nit ready to face them - I burn it after

3. Taking a run -sweating it out

4. Boxing - that bag sure do get hit

5. Journal-ling - pouring it out on those pages

6. Speaking to a counselor

7. Speaking to God

Those are my top ones, and when I miss them all, I get ill. My body screams - release it, get it out, feel, deal, heal!

When the ego get's involved, all of my good sense is gone, it's like I get crazy insane and want to blame, prove others wrong or lash out, resulting in my own illness. The ego is a pesky little bugger masquerading as self love - but it will kill ya! For real!

And so, the feelings have risen to the surface where I am now ready to feel them, welcome them, learn from them and release them

Peace

For my birthday month, I am gifting free copies of my second best selling book

Nyabo (Why Are You Here?) 

Download Here

https://www.instafreebie.com/free/JmIYW

 .

Open For Business

Let's make a toast to those who helped make this occasion - Shalamar

Today is my birthday. Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me!

Over the past few years I have gone away and spent the time with myself either in a quiet spot or in nature. This year I wanted to continue the trend. My good friend said to me, why don't you celebrate yourself and open it up to those who want to celebrate not just with you but celebrate you? Why are you closed? Open up for business sis!

Open up for business? 

Yes, open up! 

Okay sis, I take that with all the love you said it with

So today on the beginning of my new year, I declare hear ye hear ye - Open for Business

Catch ya'll on the flip side

Peace

Because its June. My birthday month. I am gifting free ebook copies of my best selling second book Nyabo(Madam) Why Are You Here? all month long....

Link it.Share it.

https://www.instafreebie.com/free/JmIYW

 

Pain is A Guide

Most people are living an unempowered life. When they get angry they shout. When they feel hurt, they withdraw emotionally. When they don’t want to experience the pain of feeling rejected or not having the world the way they want it to be, they work harder or have sex or take a drink and all of that is a loss of power. You lose power when you are controlled by external circumstances. Gary Zukav

Every time you face the pain, you decrease it's power, every time you leave the cookie (yes the chocolate chip cookie) you give it less power, every time you don't make that call, send that text to the partner who you know you are settling to be with for whatever reason, he/she is married, disrespectful, dishonest, stunting your growth and so on, you gain some more authentic power

Authentic power according to Gary Zukav is the alignment of your soul with your personality. 

You experience your soul each time you sense yourself as more than a mind and body, your life as meaningful, or you feel that you have gifts to give and you long to give them.

Pain is a guide. Listen to it, run from it and you will meet it up again either in a different person, a different form. We as human's like comfort, we resist pain, and run to things to stop or mask it, sit with it, talk to it, invite it in and get the lessons. It won't kill you.

Painful emotions show you what prevents you from creating harmony, cooperation, sharing and reverence for life.

Don't run from it

According to Gary Zukav "This is how to avoid re-creating painful situations: Take the time to discover your real intention before you act. If it is to change someone or the world so that you will feel safe or better about yourself, don't act on it, because it is an intention of fear and can create only painful consequences."

Peace

TED Talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VH1K7nRGrYc

Publications: www.akosuadardaineedwards.com/publications

Options

Where would you have me go?
What would you have me do?
What would you have me say?
And to whom?
–A Course in Miracles

Families and Intimate relationships are the biggest containers for growth. They provide you with the tests and lessons which you are not able to get anywhere else.

Your family, they know you inside out

you want to be supportive and love them hard but they get on your last nerve sometimes right? Especially if they are "not listening" living their lives differently to their "potential" and not trusting you to do what you do best. Most times we want validation , want to feel needed and loved and in your own way!

 

When does living our own lives and demonstrating by our choices a choice, or accepting and loving them the way they are an option?

When is taking responsibility for our own lives and staying in our own lane an option?

When is walking away and praying an option?

When is acceptance of what is an option?

When is pray and faith an option?

When is compassion an option?

I have been asking myself these questions over the past couple of weeks in my own family

Looking for the lesson in the situation

I have not come up with the answers yet but this I know for sure

there are some things I cannot fix, cannot change and cannot make better 

and looking for and paying attention to the lesson

Tuning into the channel 

Peace

Your Soul Lives True

What you want? Your Soul may have other plans for you Deborah L Johnson

You may have heard me say it before, but I want what I want when I want it

I can bet that many of us want what we want when we want it

And isn't that what we are taught about "making it"

Going after what you want and not taking no for an answer?

How does that philosophy tie in to what our Soul wants for us?

It may not tie in because your Soul's plans trump all, whether we accept it or not

Why? Your Soul has not agenda and wants what's best for you, and it really is that simple

We get clues based on how our life is panning out

and when we ignore it life continues to give you clues.

The job, the relationships, the material things, the friends, the career, you name it

the Soul gives you clues, it is up to us to pay attention

Peace

 

Without Feelings You Run From You

Without feeling, life becomes: • a succession of escaping yourself — using the outside world to escape the inside world • falling victim to thoughts and emotions, which are only past memories stuck in brain and nerve cells • chasing concepts of peace, love and happiness rather than going through pain to reach emotional freedom, i.e. emotional freedom is peace, love and happiness – these experiences aren't dependent on protests, relationships or success • getting involved in emotional dependent relationships — using your partner to take responsibility for YOUR feelings - Feeling is the difference between emotional pain and emotional freedom Kyle Jones



I am doing an experiment, I am feeling all my feelings, and why is it an experiment? Because I would usually either run or stifle it, or focus on what the "problem" is and look at how to fix it. Well to be quite honest there has been some discomfort

Small things

Let me give you an example, I went to see a spoken word show on Sunday night, it was billed as the best in the country, at the premiere spot. One of the contestants forgot her lines, she was frozen on one spot, trembeling and shaking, In pulled out my phone and started texting, looking at Facebook and Instagram feeling super uncomfortable, then I realised, I cannot face this situation, I refuse to!

Default to experiment, feel the discomfort!

I put the phone away and looked at her, I looked directly at her and the feeling passed, what replaced it was a feeling of empathy and admiration - she would not quit, she stood there soldiering through the lines, hands clasped

then I felt proud, the angry because he people in the row before me was shooing her off the stage

Simple Lesson- feel the feelings, sit in the discomfort, and see where it takes you

She left the stage and I couldn't help but feel so proud of her efforts and bold in my knowledge that if I mess up I am not the only one, to soldier on and feel all the feelings

Peace

How Do You Define Success?

Many of us living relatively (or blatantly) privileged lives have created our own nouveau religion: Materialism. It’s as pervasive as any of the major world religions. And we fight, and kill, and steal, and pillage, and lie for our right to profit and consume. Same shit, different deity—the deity of the dollar (or yen, or euro…). Our mass consumption has become a weapon of mass destruction—fashioned from lies about so-called success and happiness. These lies take a damaging toll on our self-esteem, and we keep trying to inflate our worth with more stuff, more attention, more stimulation. In the Cult of Materialism, reverence for simplicity and basic consideration is a courageous act. Danielle La Porte


How do you define success? 

What does success look like to you?

What about abundance? 

What is abundance and how does it look?

Does it look like something? A particular item? A feeling? An experience?

 

At a meeting yesterday I sat listening to the conversation. The markers of success are profits, profits, more profits at the top it then filtered down to the staff as house, car, private schools for the children and designer gadgets. We bust our bums for things, those things are supposed to make us happy, and the absence of those things signal that we are unsuccessful. I have been caught up as well in that cycle and what I have learnt is - define your own success because playing by someone else's rules when you are not sure what the rules are is a set up for disaster

You will continue to guess

Playing by your own rules involves being comfortable in your own skin- there is no getting away from it. It involves having a vision for your own life based on your gifts, passion and determination

Peace

 

 .

Live Your Truth

People need truth the way they need air. They’re desperate for it. Even when you risk rejection, telling your truth clears the field for others to tell theirs. Glennon Doyle Mellon


People ask me how or even why did I share "all my business" in my first book "What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love" 

How could I not? It really did honestly set me free, it set me on a path clearing the way for others to live their own truth and for me, that is one of the most powerful things that I have ever experienced.

Living your truth requires guts, it requires courage and most importantly it requires feeling ALL of your feelings

Courage and guts because you will not always be liked, accepted or the most popular. You will sometimes do things against the grain, you may feel like a failure but its all part of the journey

Love is never wasted and all things are lessons that God will have us learn


So, live your truth, do what brings you joy, with love and in service and know that all is well and will be well in your world


Peace



Publications: www.akosuadardaineedwards.com/publications


Ted Talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VH1K7nRGrYc


Unveiling - Looking into the mirror of self

May 26th 2017

Trinidad and Tobago 

https://www.facebook.com/events/223252608079891/

Your story is inspiring, your delivery is real
— Barbara Ince, President - Maloney Women's Group
The students who attended the function were so inspired by you they want all their friends to be exposed to your story.
— Cherisse Rawlins - Teacher Moruga Secondary
I must thank you for your presentation, many people were blown away by it.
— Sharon Christopher, Dep CEO First Citizens Bank Limited
It was a pleasure hosting you. Your reading from Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here? - was both thought provoking and insightful, thank you.
— Consulate General of the Republic of Trinidad and Tobago - New York
You are an inspiration to us all
— Marlene Charles, YWCA President
I can’t stop telling people about your presentation. You changed my life forever!
— Michele Celestine, Executive Director Heroes Foundation
What an honour and priveledge it was for me and my wife to host you during your stay in Washington DC
— Anthony WJ Phillips-Spencer, Ambassador Extraordinary Embassy of the Republic of Trinidad and Tobago
Unveiling was exactly what I needed, thank you.
— Participant at 2017's Unveiling- Looking into the Mirror of Self
Akosua, congratulations and thank you for that fabulous and thoughtful sharing from your book. I did NOTHING for the weekend but read your books. Madam, I found your story telling light and entertaining, true Trini style but DEEP.
— Sandra Ferguson, Agency for Rural Transformation, Grenada W.I
After hearing Ms. Akosua speak, I now know that I am everything and that I have everything to become who I want to be.
— Jenna Marie Bharat, Student- San Juan South Secondary School
Madam Akosua was awe inspiring. Excellent motivational skills. For me as a new retiree her words encourage me to “give back to the village”
— Anthea Doyle
Inspirational for both year groups. Forms 3 and 5. They were at the edge of their seats. prodding them to plan and even when things do not go as planned... to never give up when faced with life’s challenges
— San Juan South Secondary School
She is complete, sincere and true to herself. Akosua relates to you on what is common in all of us, our humanity.
— Odella Jowaheer