Akosua Dardaine Edwards

Let's Share Lessons on The Journey

Akosua Dardaine Edwards - author, writer, coach, gender specialist, speaker

 

Filtering by Tag: self love

Communication Requires Acceptance

We are required to communicate in this world if we want to have healthy and functional relationships. We can get a bit further in this life if we acknowledge that we need something and show the person the way. I’m not asking you to spoon feed a person, nor am I asking you to explain the same thing 49 times. I’m asking you to consider what it might feel like to balance out all of the ways that love can be given and received and equalize it. Vienna Pharaon


A friend of mine was chatting with me yesterday, he was bemoaning the fact that his wife does not listen to him. I asked him what does he mean by "she does not listen to him"? He responded with- she hardly ever does what he says or asks her to do.

That got me to thinking, does listening to someone only mean that we do what they say or ask us to, in the same way and form?


I would say no.

I would say that listening means hearing someone and using the feedback to make the best decision possible for themselves. Sometimes that response may be completely different to what what advice was given or request made.

It can never be doing exactly what someone else says out of fear, people pleasing and lack of self belief.


Communication is a skill, it takes practice, patience, compassion and acceptance Acceptance is simply recognition. When you recognize a thing, you see it for what it is. All of our experiences, no matter how awful they appear to be, are temporary. According to Iyanla Vanzant, Acceptance of an experience as a temporary situation can make it a lot easier to handle. There are times when all the skills required to communicate effectively will become necessary when dealing with others. It is a wonderful lesson in growth when communication becomes a love language.

The willingness to communicate is important, there will be times people may not agree nor listen to you and your point of view, how do you respond in that case?

Remember that there are different love languages, different points of views. Diversity is a beautiful thing!


Peace


Come Join us in Guyana


https://welead.21qcaribbean.com/


Have you read any of Akosua's work?

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?

Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal


Follow Akosua on

Twitter

Instagram

Facebook


Testimony from Readings

Love wishes to be known, completely understood and shared. It has no secrets; nothing that it would keep apart and hide. It walks in sunlight, open-eyed and calm, in smiling welcome and in sincerity so simple and so obvious it cannot be misunderstood. ACIM


Yesterday's event at The Arts Cafe TT was lovely, the spirit of kinship, the support of my friends and family, an absolutely full house! Give thanks

I want to share a testimony from the evening...Happy Reading


Yesterday I had the pleasure of attending a Wellness Wednesday event featuring @akosuadedwards at @theartscafett.

Let me start by saying that the universe works in mysterious ways.

I catered an event earlier this year for which the feature speaker was Ms. Akosua Edwards. At the time I was hiding from accepting the huge changes that occurred in my life and so, it wasn’t my time to meet Akosua. Other than catering the event, I had no idea who she was.

Six months passed during which I had a complete breakdown. Yet somehow, pulled myself together enough to start this page to actively track my self-love journey and hopefully help others along the way.

A total of ONE day after starting the page I stumbled upon Akosua’s event and it was like everything in the universe lined up. It was about self-love, in San Fernando at a convenient time and it was free! I had to attend.

Akosua’s profound words resonated so deeply with the packed room that by the time I heard what my soul knew I needed to hear, I was in tears. Like Akosua at the beginning of her journey, I’d lost my “identity” and was struggling to come to terms with that loss.

I needed to hear that, to truly move forward, I need to accept where I am, that I can’t hide from the truth and that I should not sit in judgement of myself for not being where I think I should be.

Sometimes our greatest obstacle is ourselves.

Sometimes we fear failure so much that we never try.

Sometimes we decide for ourselves long before we even give it any real thought.

Always be kind to yourself.

Always be honest with yourself.

Always give yourself the benefit of the doubt.

#selflove #nojudgement #acceptance #positivity #honesty #author#inspirational


Have you read any of Akosua's work?



What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?

Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal

Follow Akosua on

Twitter

Instagram

Facebook

Do You Lower Your Standards For Others

"Never apologize for having high standards. People who really want to be in your life will rise up to meet them.” Anonymous

 

 

"Just open up - you project that you are very serious and live a high flying life"- a guy told me this yesterday and yes, confessions on the journey, I really dig this guy! So when the statement was made I was a tad bit shocked! to me it was very random and out of the blue, because we haven't spoken for ages and the initial conversation was, to me at least, nothing to do with this!

 

I thought about it for a while! Why lower my standards just to have a man? Nah sah!

Why lower my standards just to be alone? Double na sah!

I am all advocating for flexibility and compromise, I am all for having standards and boundaries.

 

I am all for love! I love love

It is the greatest force and feeling ever!

 

So if anyone is coming at me to ask me to lower my standards I will have to politely decline and let them know I can and I will love them from afar!

 

Peace

Have you read any of Akosua's work?

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?

Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal

Follow Akosua on

Twitter

Instagram

Facebook

 

 

 

 

 

Shift in Perception

I’m ferocious about it, in the best way. What do I want to do with my one, precious life? What’s important to me? Why will it matter to me? How do I want to feel? What do I have control over—how can I do more of that? Kate Courageous 


The Course in Miacles says ,enlightment is a shift in perception. If you choose to see the material world as your reality then that will be your reality. You will live on that plane. Whatever you choose to believe as your reality will manifest in your life, that is the power that you possess. You co-create with the Universe, and you lead it by your thoughts and belifs, not only your actions. They all must line up!


The Course in Miracles  believes that shifting your perception can lead to shifting your life's experience. I believe it as well and have lived to experience it. 


Moment after moment, the shift my perception, the questioning of core beliefs, the self belief, the self love made my experience of this precious life change. It is definitely not an overnight instant process.

The Universe leads me back to the enlightment by giving me experience and clues when I am vering off course.

The easiest way to so this is to focus on your purpose and mission - if you don't know what your focus and mission is, I implore you to spend some time knowing who you are without any of your labels,  remove any external thing that you identify with. 

When you focus on YOUR life, when you live YOUR best life, you will, trust me,  share, give, teach, learn, receive, give, set boundaries, forgive, let go, be authentic and love. 


When you compare yourself with others, focus on others, accept many beliefs that limit you, there will be suffering., there will be the feeling that something is missing, you will believe that you have to grasp and compete and compare. You will want to attach to a person and place or thing to complete you and make you happy. That's a trap! A set up!

Enlightment is proactive, disciplined, courageous, focused, responsible and a journey.

Many of us do not want to do the work! Fear, comfort zones and attachment prevents us from doing the work

Speak to yourself gently, then listen

Peace

Have You Read Any of Akosua's Books

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here?

Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal

It Doesn't Matter How Much You Know

“It doesn't matter how much you know.

It matters what you're willing to step into.
It matters what you're willing to do.
It matters how much transformation you desire.
It matters what your vision is.
It matters what decisions you make.
It matters what standards you set for your life.
It matters how much you get back up.
It matters how you treat yourself.
It matters how much you put to use.
It matters how you treat other people.
It matters what stories you tell yourself.
It matters what fears you'll step into.
It matters how you show up.”

- Alexandra Covucci 

To "know" is only part of the puzzle. Let's call it the puzzle of living our best life.

Your good intentions are another part of the puzzle.

Each on their own may not take you to that next level, to where you want to go, to  you living your best life .

You may ask what does living your best life mean, what does it look like? It looks like a life on purpose, of  healthy relationships, a healthy body, living your truth and contributing to the space one is in in a positive manner. It is a life of authenticity and willingness, of open mindedness and progress. Yes yes I deliberately left out the material things. I did that because I am convinced that once you are indeed living your best life, all needs are met. 

How many times have we heard "Oh they had such good intentions". Intentions alone won't do the trick.

How many times have you heard someone say "Yes, I know" and yet they continue to make choices and decisions that reflect something competely different. Helloooooo, no, you don't know because if you did you would act differently, you would act like you know.

To know is to demonstrate. 

So, it matters how and what we do with our knowledge and good intentions, talking alone about it hardly brings about the desired results.

It takes courage to live this life, it takes responsibility, discipline and self love

Are you ready?

Peace

Have you Read Akosua's Books?

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here?

Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal

6 Things I am No Longer Spending Time On

there are some habits, people, practices, and choices that I simply don’t have any time for anymore. And I don’t have time for them because they create cycles of energy that stress me out. And most importantly, they’re not pushing me to heal, to grow, or to get better. So done. Done with dirty playing fields. Done with letting images, messages, and molds tell us what to do. Maxie McCoy


Have you ever had one of those moments when you just get it? When the light bulb switches on and you say "Oh I get it!!" (sometimes loudly and in libraries and bank halls)

This hit me during this week. There are just some things that I must, absolutely must, spending time on:


1.  Convincing others - that my way is the right way, that they ought to be doing "so and so" and to mind their own business - done with that. I don't know it all, I don't know their full story only what they have told me and want me to know and let me mind my own business so when others are not I will not even know or care.


2. People Pleasing - OMG! Can I just stop this, immediately? Yes I can. It's a definite no win situation. Accept that some people will just not like me, deal with it, they are not part of my tribe.

3. Saying Yes when I want to say No - overcrowding my schedule. This saying yes when I want to say no is also directly related to people pleasing! No is sometimes self care, it is sometimes self honoring and it is many times essential.

4. Looking for External Validation - just going to do my utmost best and leave the rest. The mantra is "Be cool with you."


5. Not Believing in Myself - Believe in yourself or who's gonna? The doubt will be there, the worry may step in, the fear too but hey.....believe. progress over perfection every single time.


6. Being Around Friends who don't believe in you or treat you like shite - Need I say more?

Have You Read Akosua's Books

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here?

Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal

Love Yourself Enough To...

It is unloving to ask people to do anything that they have demonstrated to you that they are unwilling or cannot do - Iyanla

Love yourself enough to know when it is time to leave - leave a job, leave a relationship, leave a situation.

Love yourself enough to take action when you know action must be taken

Love yourself enough not to eat the foods you know are unhealthy to your system on a regular basis

Love yourself enough to not fill up your system with substances which numb you to what is the reality that you must face

Love yourself enough to say NO

Love yourself enough to say YES

Love yourself ebough to know that you do not always have to be "right"

Love yourself enough to treat your body with reverence and care - it is where you live while you are here on this plane

Love yourself enough to get enough rest

Love yourself enough to follow your intuition

Love yourself enough to speak up

Love yourself enough to not compare yourself to anyone else- you are divinely and uniquely made

Love yourself enough to not settle...due to fear and societal constructs

Love yourself enough to stop making excuses and blaming others

Love yourself enough to take responsibility

Love yourself....through it all...Love yourself..

Peace

5 Things I'm Leaving Behind in 2017

Self-love begins with taking that fearless inventory where you’re able to go into the attic or the closet of yourself and see what’s there. What do you appreciate about yourself? How do you interact with other people? bell hooks

1. Passive Aggressive Responses and Behaviours - yes, those are being left wholey and soley here in 2017, you know the snide under the collar comments, the not returning phone calls and the silent treatment - done with that. I will speak, state my truth kindly and clearly with the intention of peace and love. Let the chips fall where they may

2. Running my self ragged in the name of growth and progress - done with this too- going all out all the time. There has to be some downtime in there for rest and recharge

3. Eating for Eating sake - oh I love me some pastries and chocolate but as with everything too much is really too much! Mindful eating is the new way forward

4. Saying Yes when I really ought to be saying No - I have started practicing my No - in front the mirror. Sometimes the loving response is NO!

 

5. Spending ALL my money - saving and paying off debts here I come

Do you have anything that you are leaving behing in  2017

Share!

Peace

Buy the Journal Here

http://www.lulu.com/shop/akosua-dardaine-edwards/daily-lessons-on-the-journey-a-journal/paperback/product-23425621.html

Do You Have Any Holiday Rituals?

Get to know yourselves

We spend time looking outside of ourselves to tell us who WE are, Take time to know who you areIyanla Vanzant

A very cool lady that I have the previledge of knowing asked me why do I go away and spend time alone over the holidays. The way she asked it I received it with such care and love, there was no judgement attached nor did it felt that she thought I was strange for doing it. For the first time I did not start off answering by being defensive and feeling that I had to justify why I do it.

And what I came up with is - spending time with myself ususally quietly impacts how I live my life that upcoming year, it assists in me getting to know me- what works , what did not work, it gives me time to self correct and self forgive. Christmas time always seemed to me growing up t be such a busy time, lots happening at home, there was always the expectation of paining the house, varnishing the chairs, getting new curtains, people invading the house, cooking. I craved quiet. There were times I would go to my room and stay there and all hell would break loose- y folks would come upstairs and demand that I come downstairs, that I stop the anti-social behaviour and stop embarrassing them. So I would go downstairs as requested. Showing up, sitting around the table listening to the stories and watching the action happening.

As I grew up, I decided that I would decide whether I would want to be around a ton load of people for the holiday season or not and did that a few times. What works for me is taking that quiet time to reflect and reboot

I really enjoy being in a quiet spot to recharge my batteries

This year will be no different I am mixing some quiet time with some learning

What are some of your holiday rituals?

Peace

You Deserve......

We really do think that too much joy is threatening and dangerous. We value our suspicions. We cherish our defenses. We're afraid of simply opening up to joy. So, quite unconsciously most of the time, we request unhappiness. We choose not to be peaceful. ACIM

Have you ever thought to yourself sometimes " This is too good to be true?" and all of a sudden things start going sour, they plummet South. Did you ever think that unconsciously you may be in your own way, blocking your own growth and blessings? punishing yourself for some thing that you have not dealt with or healed that you feel guilty about?

That sounds crazy doesn't it?

Why would we punish our own self? Block our own blessings? Get in our own way?

I say it is simply a case of not believing we deserve it. There can be many reasons that lead to that belief 

The lesson explains that I can be confused about what I want; that I can think pain is pleasure, or that joy is threatening. The latter is perhaps a little easier to understand since it is a common experience. Haven't you ever had the thought "This is too good to last"? Or perhaps you've found yourself very happy in a relationship and suddenly getting afraid of it because some part of you is nearly certain that if you keep your guard down you're going to get smacked good. I had a friend who somehow entered a very high and totally joyful state of mind and was there for nearly three weeks until she started thinking, "This is wonderful. I love everybody, I have no fear of anything, but if I live like this in the world I'm going to get crucified. Maybe I'm not enlightened; maybe I'm just insane." So she lost the joy, and it never came back in quite the same way.

We really do think that too much joy is threatening and dangerous. We value our suspicions. We cherish our defenses. We're afraid of simply opening up to joy. So, quite unconsciously most of the time, we request unhappiness. We choose not to be peaceful.

I have consciously been paying attention and started talking to myself "I choose differently" "I want to see this differently" "Let me choose again" making this a mantra

It brings me to the point of NOW, to remember that I deserve joy, I deserve a life filled with love and laughter and sometimes going through the fire with an open mind leads me there


Peace

Practice Setting Boundaries - First With Yourself

If you have difficulty saying no, override your needs to please others, or are bothered by someone who is demanding, controlling, criticizing, pushy, abusive, invasive, pleading, or even smothering you with kindness, it’s your responsibility to speak up. Darlene Lancer

 

 

I think it still remains to this day, one of the toughest lessons on the journey! There are internal and external boundaries - who knew?? Internal boundaries relate to your relationship with yourself and external boundaries relate to your relationship with others, both are equaly important on the journey

 

So why might it be the challenges in setting boundaries:

 

  1. You put others’ needs and feelings first;
  2. You don’t know yourself;
  3. You don’t feel you have rights;
  4. You believe setting boundaries jeopardizes the relationship; and
  5. You never learned to have healthy boundaries.

Boundaries protect us! 

They protect you and the people around you, think of it like a fence. There is a gate and sometimes the gate is locked and has to stay locked to protect what's inside the fence from any harm or danger. The gate in the fence represents flexibility, one cannot be so rigid as to leave everything and everyone outside without checking to see who they are and what they are bringing. into your space

Would you leave your house open for anything and anyone to enter? I doubt it

Boundaries are like that

Check in at the gate

Decide

Then take action

this helps in processing guilt and resentment

Practice.Setting. Boundaries

First with yourself

Peace

 

 

Start the Trusting Process with You

“When you do not trust yourself, what you feel, and what you know, you will expect people to be who they are not. You will hope against hope that they will do things you already know they cannot do. You will expect them to be who you want them to be rather than trusting what you know about who they are and what they are capable of doing. This is not trust. This is magical thinking, and engaging in it will set you up for a big letdown. Trusting yourself is important when dealing with others because it protects you from repeated violations and devastating heartbreaks.”  Iyanla

The first place you have to put trust in is you

trusting how resilient you are

trusting that you are more resilient than you think you are

resilient - the ability to withstand and bounceback with lessons in tow

 

We tend to think "we cannot survive it"

We tend to think "we cannot afford it"

We tend to think "we can wait until the right moment" (newsflash there is no right moment!)

We tend to think " I'm afraid because I won't be able to survive or handle it" that says I'm not trusting myself

It says I don't have the capacity and resilience to keep on keeping on

It says that if something happens that I don't like it will not be turned into a blessing for me

Now I'm not saying to go stand in front of a mac truck and wait to get hit trusting that nothing will happen, that's plain ole stoopid!

I'm talking about the type of trust in knowing that you are divinely guided when you are on your path, when you are scared to make a choice about leaving a job, a relationship, a situation that no longer serves you, in pursuing your clear vision, in moving ahead

You have to trust

to listen to your gut

you can only hear your gut when you are clear and willing

Trust is a decision you make.

You either trust or you don't

you gotta build your trust muscles

start trusting you, start building

you got this!

Peace

Ten Ways To Practice Self Love

When I started on the journey to self-love, I stopped seeking others’ approval, which meant I gave myself the space to explore other ways of living and I can truly say, life surprised me and met me halfway . Vangile Makwakana

Ten Ways to Pracise Self Love

1. Honestly accept where you are right now without guilt

2. Read something positive daily or listen to positive uplifting music

3. Spend time in nature

4. Include rest, relaxation and exercise as part of your lifestlye

5. Have a strong NO - Say No to the things that dishonour and diminish you

6. Have a strong YES - Say Yes to the things that push your growth and push you outside your comfort zone

7.Forgive.... everyone and everything

8. Do something nice for yourself weekly - (once it's legal of course)

9. Stop comparing your life to those on Instagram and Facebook

10. Show up for life - with an open mind, stop people pleasing and making decisions based on fear and societal constructs

Peace

Will You Be Whole?

You being you a whole person and I bring me a whole person – Susan L Taylor

We are busy searching for what we are. We are like the fish in the ocean looking for the sea, we believe that something is missing and we look to people, places and things to tell us who we are to fill the so called void.

Newsflash - that never works and when we get what we believe will fill us up it is short lived or we spend most of our time thinking that we are going to lose it

Listen to this, our inner being is so full of integrity that it will not allow us to keep anything that we do not believe we deserve to have,
There is an inner healing that has to take place
The acquisition of more will not do the trick
The acquisition of more never makes you whole
Quite the contrary, what makes you whole is the dropping of some of the "stuff"

Wholeness is about balance

Wholeness is about putting things in it's proper perspective

Wholeness is not about getting more

Wholeness is letting go of the stuff that does not belong

You need ALL of you, not just the parts that you think other people will like, not just the part where you have things, not just the mask, ALL of you

Will you be whole?

Peace

Go Inside

One shot to your heart without breaking your skin
No one has the power to hurt you like your kin
Kept it inside, didn't tell no one else
Didn't even wanna admit it to yourself
And now your chest burns and your back aches
From 15 years of holding the pain
And now you only have yourself to blame
If you continue to live this way
Get it together
You wanna heal your body
You have to heal your heart - India Arie

What is inside manifests itself on the outside

I have learnt that our bodies give us signs- the aches, the pains, the tummy tumbles, even the common cold, we pay attention to the symtoms and seldom the cause

So it's pills, tablets, ointments, balms, you name it. The symptoms go away for a bit and then when triggered they return.

Go inside...

My friend and I have this thing where we say "go inside" when we are triggered or feel each other is

I am now extending it to focusing on what you are holding inside that you haven't dealt with- fee.deal.heal- for whatever reason

Trust me, it will manifest itself in some part of your daily funtion and affect your health and daily life!

Catch that....

Go inside.....

Peace

Move

Use this truth to catch your breath: This pain WILL end.

Declare. Breathe. Move. Forward. Toward the truth.

(PS…For real. The pain will end. You’re going to get through it.) Danielle La Porte

Whatever is happening right now, as crazy as it may seem, is happening FOR you, not TO you!

I know, I know, it doesn't seem that way when the bills are piling up, the roof is leaking, the relationship has lost its va va voom, the job feels like a whole hell or maybe there is no love prospects in sight

But it is true, it is happening for you and when the mindshift sets in it becomes clear that it is an opportunity for some type of growth but it is also to move you forward

You get to choose- all the time.

 

I have learnt to raise the vibration - in a healthy way of course. To feel the feelings, they are guides, feel it and not live in it

Spend a day in bed

Spend a day in nature

Listen to some dope music

Call a friend who makes you laugh

Exercise

Meditate

Pray

Laugh

Look at children playing

Walk in the grass

Cry or bawl your eyes out

but know

This too shall pass

Peace

Your story is inspiring, your delivery is real
— Barbara Ince, President - Maloney Women's Group
The students who attended the function were so inspired by you they want all their friends to be exposed to your story.
— Cherisse Rawlins - Teacher Moruga Secondary
I must thank you for your presentation, many people were blown away by it.
— Sharon Christopher, Dep CEO First Citizens Bank Limited
It was a pleasure hosting you. Your reading from Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here? - was both thought provoking and insightful, thank you.
— Consulate General of the Republic of Trinidad and Tobago - New York
You are an inspiration to us all
— Marlene Charles, YWCA President
I can’t stop telling people about your presentation. You changed my life forever!
— Michele Celestine, Executive Director Heroes Foundation
What an honour and priveledge it was for me and my wife to host you during your stay in Washington DC
— Anthony WJ Phillips-Spencer, Ambassador Extraordinary Embassy of the Republic of Trinidad and Tobago
Unveiling was exactly what I needed, thank you.
— Participant at 2017's Unveiling- Looking into the Mirror of Self
Akosua, congratulations and thank you for that fabulous and thoughtful sharing from your book. I did NOTHING for the weekend but read your books. Madam, I found your story telling light and entertaining, true Trini style but DEEP.
— Sandra Ferguson, Agency for Rural Transformation, Grenada W.I
After hearing Ms. Akosua speak, I now know that I am everything and that I have everything to become who I want to be.
— Jenna Marie Bharat, Student- San Juan South Secondary School
Madam Akosua was awe inspiring. Excellent motivational skills. For me as a new retiree her words encourage me to “give back to the village”
— Anthea Doyle
Inspirational for both year groups. Forms 3 and 5. They were at the edge of their seats. prodding them to plan and even when things do not go as planned... to never give up when faced with life’s challenges
— San Juan South Secondary School
She is complete, sincere and true to herself. Akosua relates to you on what is common in all of us, our humanity.
— Odella Jowaheer