Akosua Dardaine Edwards

Let's Share Lessons on The Journey

Akosua Dardaine Edwards - author, writer, coach, gender specialist, speaker

 

Filtering by Tag: selflove

Shining Means....

We are told to let our light shine, and if it does, we won't need to tell anybody it does. Lighthouses don't fire cannons to call attention to their shining - they just shine. Dwight Moody

when you show up and you shine every single time, what happens is, shining  becomes a part of you, shining becomes your norm

and what is shining?

shining is not hiding behind excuses

shining is taking responsibility for your actions

shining is doing your best in the moment – sometimes the moment may not be perfect, but it ought not to stop you from doing your best in that moment

shining means being honest

shining means knowing that you will make mistakes

shining means feeling all your feelings

shining means having self belief

shining means being disciplined

shining means doing the work

shining means having the faith when you have done all the work

shining means being courageous

shining means being flexible

shining means setting & respecting boundaries    

shining means using what you have to make something useful

Keep shining

Peace

 Have you read any of Akosua's work?

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?

Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal

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Do You Really Know?

To know is to be certain. Uncertainty means that you do not know. Knowledge is power because it is certain, and certainty is strength. Perception is temporary.  ACIM

Confessions on the journey... People telling me "I know" yet acting uncertain is something I am working on to not get pissed off about - hey, I am not an enlighted master, cut me some slack?

To know is to be certain - according to A Course in Miracles, I interpret that to mean that you are sure, you are confident, you are moving forward doing what needs to be done, you are doing what is required, confident and assured that it is the best thing for you despite what it seems to others, if it is totally illogical to you, minus ego and fear.

How can you say you know when you continue to do things that are not in your best interests, emotionally and physically?

How can you saw you know while you continue to eat the foods that are harmful to your health?

How can you say you know while you continue to spend money that you do not have to either keep up with the so called Jones or to fill voids?

How can you say you know while you continue to not have boundaries?

How can you say you know when you continue to facilitate toxic relationships?

How can you say you know when you continue to think and act in lack and limitation?

How can you say you know when you don't?

 

Don't get me wrong, I am in no way saying one has to know it all, what I am saying is, stop saying you know and take that time to speak to the Universe, to pause, to get to know

I say " Universe, help me, I do not know but I am willing, guide me"

Everytime we say we know when we don't know we add a layer of guilt on, we add a level of self betrayal 

I ask "who do I want to be today? and what do I need to do be who I want today?"

Do I want to be loving? then I have to do loving actions

Do I want to be a liar? No not really

Do I want to be healthy today? Then I do healthy things....today

and guess what, the days add up

sometimes on the day I get it wrong, but I know practice makes masters so I keep practising.

Peace

Order the Journal Here - Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal

http://www.lulu.com/shop/akosua-dardaine-edwards/daily-lessons-on-the-journey-a-journal/paperback/product-23425621.html

Caution Tape

treat the situation like a plane crash: Leave everything behind and get out. This tactic may also be necessary in relationships with people who are too wounded, addicted, or emotionally inaccessible to reciprocate your feelings. You can save yourself enormous pain by acknowledging the plain hard truth that some people can’t really love you. Martha Beck


There are some people I am putting the caution tape around.....right now!

It's really okay to love some people from afar, our responsibility is to show up with no judgement adn compassion and in love. It is very easy to get caught up in the ego and wanting them to do better but what is the intention behind it, helping can easily turn into co-dependency and enabling and ego stroking

What is your intention behind what you are doing?

If it is guilt- get the caution tape out- for both parties - you and them

If it is "they should know better" - caution tape time

If it is shame - start unrolling the tape

If it's ego stroking - buy extra tape - for you


It's hard, yea I know, but who said it would be? Take the temporary discomfort because on the other side of it there lies openings for growth, peace, and love

Peace

 

Do You Ever Question It?

Trade your limiting beliefs for curiosity...Turn major projects into micro steps...Turn unclear behaviours into clear action items...Turn vague visions into clear outcomes...Turn dabbling into a dedication to mastery Mastin Kipp

I ask questions, I ask them for two reasons, to avoid assumptions and to ensure that both parties communicating are clear. What I have learnt in the process is that in asking these questions I also learn. I learn more particularly when I drop all judgements and do not assume that I have the right or perfect answer.

What I have also learnt is that there are people who are offended by the questions or those who get defensive - those are the ones who are either triggered, not ready to handle or deal with a particular issue, hiding something, or feel the need to be right. I have learned to recognise it and deal accordingly

because until we are ready to acknowledge, accept, be open and willing we will remain stuck

I see it also when people ask me questions and I want to avoid the answer because I simply refuse to face a matter or that the question triggered something that I am ashamed about- all leading back to healing - something requires healing

Questions also promote my curiosity - I am curious about life, this curiosity gives me an easier way to venture into new things, to opening of my mind and to less anxiety and worry

There are some beliefs that we hold that we simply need to get rid of as it no linger serves healing, growth, development or love!

Asking questions show you care

Peace

Love More

I would love to share this with you

Lessons on the Journey

 

 

 

I am faith-filled and fear-free because...I am a celebration of love.

Beneath the pain, the disappointment, the resentment and fear that your life will never be as you want it to be, there is love. There is a memory of the touch, the feel, the excitement of love. There is a yearning to know and experience that expression of love. Go there! Be there! Rest there! Celebrate the love that you buried in your heart.

When you celebrate love, the unconditional love that lies the beneath all the experiences you have witnessed and participated in, you find a degree of understanding that diminishes mental and emotional anguish. The love beneath the hurt and pain of your life will not allow you to blame anyone. It will stop you from judging yourself and others. The love beneath your pain and the fear of pain will help you to become aware of all the things that you told yourself about love that were just fantasies. Love will remind you not to be upset when the fantasy is revealed. It will remind you of the truth you knew in the first place. The love that lies beneath what happened, however it happened, will remind you that you haven't been rejected, abandoned, abused or defeated. You were simply being given an opportunity to remember that there is a place within you in which you can find everything you need or thought you lost or wished that you had more of. Go there now! Be there now! Rest there now! The only thing that you need to do to find the love in you is to remember, God's love has brought you this far.

Until today, you may have forgotten that beneath everything that you have experienced, there is God's love. Just for today, look for the love within and beneath every experience. Remember all of the love that you have given and received. Fill your heart and mind with thoughts of love. Then celebrate yourself for recognizing love.

Today I am devoted to remembering and celebrating love no matter what else is going on! ~~Iyanla Vanzant, "Until Today"#Lovemore

Can We Just Start?

Can we just start where we are .....and trust? Deborah L Johnson

Wanting to have it all lined up and figured out and orderly according to your definition is a receipe for stress. I guarantee it

I'm over it, I am over the obsessiveness of wanting to control and know everything

What if we dare to trust?

What if we dare to believe?

Somethings we just have to leap out on faith, the mystery and magic is part of life, life will not be denied, life just keeps bing life

 

We keep wanting it to line up based on the past, on society, on fear,on having our own way

What if we trust and believe?

What if we go on what we know NOW?

 

Im triggered today by this because right now I am planning an event- for the second time

I have no idea about what's going to happen and yes it's pretty darn scary but I have to trust, believe, allow it, align with the belief and own it

What if I trust and do the work to ensure that I am doing my ultimate best?

What if I go with the flow?

What if I believe?

Isn't that easier than wanting to know everything before hand? How boring is that?

It's depressing me looking to think about what if and what could and why not and if if if I fail

So I'm done with that

Dare to believe because all things are lessons that God will have us learn

Peace

 

Only Action Brings Courage

You don't have to fast, light candles, hang wind chimes from your back porch, and turn vegetarian in order to get directions on what to do with your mind, body, spirit, and life. You simply need to respond to the signals: body stress, emotional input, mental highs and lows, your intuition. Courage is something that will never enter you through prayer. Only action brings courage. If you can't immediately respond to major stress signals, or strong creative direction, then respond by doing something "small." Just respond.  Carolyn Myss

I have been practising, starting small, speaking out loud and saying what I was always afraid to say, for whatever reason, mainly fear because I have learnt that - action brings courage

I have been going harder with my exercise routine, pushing through the barrier because I have learnt that action brings courage

I have been saying no a lot more because I have learnt that action brings courage

I have been saying a bod yes more because I have learnt that action brings courage

I have been resting my body more without feeling guilty about it because I have learnt that action brings courage

Starting small because action takes courage

Just plain ole starting because action takes courage

Because this action comes from a place of love

it comes from a place of intuition 

it comes from a place of wanting to be the best me

and sometimes the action requires stillness and silence

Peace

You Have The Capacity To See Beyond Where You Are

You have to have the capacity to see beyond where you are

We livein a very mechanistic society that puts us in a fix it mode so we start with the problem, we focus on it then we try to figure out how we can change the problem so all of our attention goes to the problem.

You want to getsomewhere?

 

You can’t have all your attention on the problem - Deborah L Johnson

Since the US Election last November it seems like the focus is on the negative and the fear and the disbelief that came along with the fact that the US has a new President. My friends  many of who live in the US has expressed their shock and disbelief. I myself, when I heard the news, could not believe it, I remember the moment I heard I was in London Heathrow checking in for a flight to Nairobi, it was the talk of the day.

I said then and continue to say it, that it is a giant wake up call with the loudest alarm that takes no snooze. 

It became apparent to me again after hearing about the withdrawal of the US from the Climate Change agreement this week. And then it hit me, why do we wait on so called leaders to do something when we can do something, anything ourselves

Rather than moan about it ad nausea what can I do to be responsible about protecting the planet?  Can I compost? Can I use less or no plastic bags? Can I recycle? There must be something  within my own power that I can do to ensure that I respect and honor where I live on planet Earth?

These actions do not call for any signing of agreements by any world leaders

Come on people, let us recognise that we really do have the power

Do something!

Because every little action adds up

Start where you are with what you have

Peace

 

Drop Down and Feel

Drop down into your body and feel. Stacey Hererra


My brother Kyle Jones is a boss at breaking down this, I really wanted to share this:

During childhood, anytime verbal, physical, emotional or sexual abuse takes place, feelings are too painful to manage. - Being an adaptive species, you learned ways to not feel emotions and abandon the emotional body. 

This emotional abandonment includes:

• taking focus from your body to your head — leading to thinking rather than feeling

• constant looking for love and approval — because of feeling unloved and unworthy inside 

• getting depressed when experiencing loneliness, heartbreak or helplessness — rather than connecting to your feelings

 • striving to become an overachiever to feel better about pain - Acts of emotional abandonment work genius on the surface; but deep inside you suffer depression, anxiety, shame and aloneness.


 These feelings exist because disconnection with your emotional guidance system. Your emotions are information wanting you to tune in and stop abandoning yourself. - 


By stopping abandoning emotions, you become open to the greater reality. You go beyond the human into being. Emotional clarity dominates your experience rather than emotional slavery. -


 How To Tune In For Emotional Clarity: 

1. Understand: Emotional clarity is supreme feeling - taking responsibly for every thought and emotion presented in the moment. 


2. Establish the intention to learn from your emotions rather than intending avoiding them. The intent to learn brings compassion, strength, and healing. On the contrary, avoiding emotions brings inner conflict, unloving behavior, and emotional dependency on others. 


3. When an emotional disturbance takes place, stop what you are doing. It doesn't matter if you are at work, in class, partying or on a plane - stop and connect to what's taking place in your body. Ask: "What information are my feelings communicating right now?" Don't look for a direct answer when you ask this question - but more of an intuitive hunch, then connect, feel and heal. 

Peace

Without Feelings You Run From You

Without feeling, life becomes: • a succession of escaping yourself — using the outside world to escape the inside world • falling victim to thoughts and emotions, which are only past memories stuck in brain and nerve cells • chasing concepts of peace, love and happiness rather than going through pain to reach emotional freedom, i.e. emotional freedom is peace, love and happiness – these experiences aren't dependent on protests, relationships or success • getting involved in emotional dependent relationships — using your partner to take responsibility for YOUR feelings - Feeling is the difference between emotional pain and emotional freedom Kyle Jones



I am doing an experiment, I am feeling all my feelings, and why is it an experiment? Because I would usually either run or stifle it, or focus on what the "problem" is and look at how to fix it. Well to be quite honest there has been some discomfort

Small things

Let me give you an example, I went to see a spoken word show on Sunday night, it was billed as the best in the country, at the premiere spot. One of the contestants forgot her lines, she was frozen on one spot, trembeling and shaking, In pulled out my phone and started texting, looking at Facebook and Instagram feeling super uncomfortable, then I realised, I cannot face this situation, I refuse to!

Default to experiment, feel the discomfort!

I put the phone away and looked at her, I looked directly at her and the feeling passed, what replaced it was a feeling of empathy and admiration - she would not quit, she stood there soldiering through the lines, hands clasped

then I felt proud, the angry because he people in the row before me was shooing her off the stage

Simple Lesson- feel the feelings, sit in the discomfort, and see where it takes you

She left the stage and I couldn't help but feel so proud of her efforts and bold in my knowledge that if I mess up I am not the only one, to soldier on and feel all the feelings

Peace

How Do You Define Success?

Many of us living relatively (or blatantly) privileged lives have created our own nouveau religion: Materialism. It’s as pervasive as any of the major world religions. And we fight, and kill, and steal, and pillage, and lie for our right to profit and consume. Same shit, different deity—the deity of the dollar (or yen, or euro…). Our mass consumption has become a weapon of mass destruction—fashioned from lies about so-called success and happiness. These lies take a damaging toll on our self-esteem, and we keep trying to inflate our worth with more stuff, more attention, more stimulation. In the Cult of Materialism, reverence for simplicity and basic consideration is a courageous act. Danielle La Porte


How do you define success? 

What does success look like to you?

What about abundance? 

What is abundance and how does it look?

Does it look like something? A particular item? A feeling? An experience?

 

At a meeting yesterday I sat listening to the conversation. The markers of success are profits, profits, more profits at the top it then filtered down to the staff as house, car, private schools for the children and designer gadgets. We bust our bums for things, those things are supposed to make us happy, and the absence of those things signal that we are unsuccessful. I have been caught up as well in that cycle and what I have learnt is - define your own success because playing by someone else's rules when you are not sure what the rules are is a set up for disaster

You will continue to guess

Playing by your own rules involves being comfortable in your own skin- there is no getting away from it. It involves having a vision for your own life based on your gifts, passion and determination

Peace

 

 .

Live Your Truth

People need truth the way they need air. They’re desperate for it. Even when you risk rejection, telling your truth clears the field for others to tell theirs. Glennon Doyle Mellon


People ask me how or even why did I share "all my business" in my first book "What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love" 

How could I not? It really did honestly set me free, it set me on a path clearing the way for others to live their own truth and for me, that is one of the most powerful things that I have ever experienced.

Living your truth requires guts, it requires courage and most importantly it requires feeling ALL of your feelings

Courage and guts because you will not always be liked, accepted or the most popular. You will sometimes do things against the grain, you may feel like a failure but its all part of the journey

Love is never wasted and all things are lessons that God will have us learn


So, live your truth, do what brings you joy, with love and in service and know that all is well and will be well in your world


Peace



Publications: www.akosuadardaineedwards.com/publications


Ted Talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VH1K7nRGrYc


Unveiling - Looking into the mirror of self

May 26th 2017

Trinidad and Tobago 

https://www.facebook.com/events/223252608079891/

Choose

hoice terrifies people. Most of us will do anything to postpone making a choice, terrified of the consequence, terrified of being held accountable for the consequences, choice is a fundamental power of the human experience - Carolyn Myss

Pay attention when you have to make a choice, start with the simple things, someone may ask you to go to lunch, where do you want to eat. Watch your response

"Oh Wherever I don't know"

"You choose"

the small things turn into the big things

 

Your little decisions add up

Your choices, each and every one, have a consequence, even your "non-choices"

Make a decision, take a risk

What keeps us stuck is fear, shame and looking back and what happened back then, back there, to determine what and how to move forward

That's in the past, you may not even be in the same position, be the same person. Do not use the past as your compass for making a decision

Do not use fear, shame and what if

your choice is a super power

Whatever happens, you will get something out of it and that something may be even better than you anticipated

Choose!

Peace

 

 

 

Waiting is the Process of Doing

Patience has never been one of my finer virtues. Like many of us, I’m used to all this quick and instant stuff. Fast responses. Immediate feedback. Instant connections. But I do trust one thing: beautiful things can take time. Lots of time. Maxi Mc Coy

Someone once told me if I want to know what patience is go to the bank on the date when the pension cheques are being distributed and stand in the line, apart from the number of people in the line, the people in the line also move slowly. I laughed when I heard it but I actually did it. Nothing to do but wait!

I gave myself 2 years to reach a goal, 2 years to sell a certain number of books, 3 years have passed, and I am no where near it. I started getting anxious and doubtful and depressed and eating way too much chocolate

The definition of patience that resonate with me the most is "Inner Calm in the midst of outer chaos

An Act of total surrender to the Divine Order"

Total Surrender - complete and unequivocal acceptance of what is knowing that all will be well despite how it looks

acceptance of what is knowing that any amount of inaction is part of the process

acceptance of what is knowing that I have done the work and planted the seeds

How I wait is also important - the energy with which I surrender

is it with faith or anxiety?

I have learnt that being anxious is like digging up the seeds that I have planted without giving it the time to bloom

How many seeds have we planted only to dig it up when we see nothing happening?

According to Maxie

So if you’re waiting, patiently or not, remember…

  1. Waiting IS the process of doing. You’re not inactive, you’re just in the inactive stage.
  2. Only put your eggs in all of waiting’s basket if you’re real with the reality it may not go how you want it to.
  3. Give a damn about the outcome. Light candles. Ask friends to light theirs. Crystal focus wills resilience.
  4. Don’t take your mind off of it. Research out there says distractions don’t actually help you wait.
  5. Peace 

Come join me at your Unveiling:https://www.facebook.com/events/223252608079891/

Ted Talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VH1K7nRGrYc

Books and Journals: www.akosuadardaineedwards.com/publications

No Judgements, No Guilt, Only Full Responsibility

Honestly! If you’re failing a couple of times, you are not doing something right. You know, it’s like, what is life but risk? The only way to make great things is to actually take risk. We should all feel more comfortable with failure.” Bozoma Saint John


I've made peace with the fact that there may be some things that I will fail at, the thought of failing no longer sends me into a tail spin of depression and comparison. It's just life, how absolutely freeing! It's freedom I tell you

Me re framing the idea that in giving my all to something with faith and hard work and it turns out differently made ME a failure! Its only feedback saying do something else, do something different, check the lessons and be fully present.

But we want to prove people and maybe ourselves right, we misinterpret perseverance and persistence with proving people wrong and being embarrassed and "shame"

No shame in my game when I pay attention to the signs and to the feedback


The whole perfection thing, totally overrated and stressful

No judgments, no guilt, only full responsibility


Peace

Learn to See People How They Are

People are who they are and do what they do whether you like it or agree with them

We all have different lessons to learn

We each take a different path to our lessons

There are times when someone's path will cross your path and cause you to stumble and fall

That does not make them wrong.

That does not make you right

The only thing a judgement does is distract you from what it is you must do yourself- Until Today

I like to have my own way- My mother used to say to me growing up "Chile you too own way" which meant I always wanted things my way, or I would sulk and be quite unpleasant

Now that I am grown I realized that I am not unique in this regard seems to me that, everyone wants what they want when they want it! The trick is how do we handle the differences

I have learnt that judging other people by saying what they "SHOULD" be doing - it does not work! Who are we to should on people? We don't know the full story! Acceptance is a hell of a thing though!

The other thing I have learnt is disagreements can be handled with respect, grace and an open mind, when this happens new opportunities, lessons and experiences emerge

 

When the disrespect creeps in well all hell breaks loose!

When the judgement creeps in well, it's all over

And when the ego jumps in there can literally be wars!

Learn to see people how they are and find a way to be okay with yourself and others

Acceptance does not mean you like it, it means you are willing to make decisions that are in your best interests and sometimes that means walking away

Peace

 

Your story is inspiring, your delivery is real
— Barbara Ince, President - Maloney Women's Group
The students who attended the function were so inspired by you they want all their friends to be exposed to your story.
— Cherisse Rawlins - Teacher Moruga Secondary
I must thank you for your presentation, many people were blown away by it.
— Sharon Christopher, Dep CEO First Citizens Bank Limited
It was a pleasure hosting you. Your reading from Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here? - was both thought provoking and insightful, thank you.
— Consulate General of the Republic of Trinidad and Tobago - New York
You are an inspiration to us all
— Marlene Charles, YWCA President
I can’t stop telling people about your presentation. You changed my life forever!
— Michele Celestine, Executive Director Heroes Foundation
What an honour and priveledge it was for me and my wife to host you during your stay in Washington DC
— Anthony WJ Phillips-Spencer, Ambassador Extraordinary Embassy of the Republic of Trinidad and Tobago
Unveiling was exactly what I needed, thank you.
— Participant at 2017's Unveiling- Looking into the Mirror of Self
Akosua, congratulations and thank you for that fabulous and thoughtful sharing from your book. I did NOTHING for the weekend but read your books. Madam, I found your story telling light and entertaining, true Trini style but DEEP.
— Sandra Ferguson, Agency for Rural Transformation, Grenada W.I
After hearing Ms. Akosua speak, I now know that I am everything and that I have everything to become who I want to be.
— Jenna Marie Bharat, Student- San Juan South Secondary School
Madam Akosua was awe inspiring. Excellent motivational skills. For me as a new retiree her words encourage me to “give back to the village”
— Anthea Doyle
Inspirational for both year groups. Forms 3 and 5. They were at the edge of their seats. prodding them to plan and even when things do not go as planned... to never give up when faced with life’s challenges
— San Juan South Secondary School
She is complete, sincere and true to herself. Akosua relates to you on what is common in all of us, our humanity.
— Odella Jowaheer