We really do think that too much joy is threatening and dangerous. We value our suspicions. We cherish our defenses. We're afraid of simply opening up to joy. So, quite unconsciously most of the time, we request unhappiness. We choose not to be peaceful. ACIM
Have you ever thought to yourself sometimes " This is too good to be true?" and all of a sudden things start going sour, they plummet South. Did you ever think that unconsciously you may be in your own way, blocking your own growth and blessings? punishing yourself for some thing that you have not dealt with or healed that you feel guilty about?
That sounds crazy doesn't it?
Why would we punish our own self? Block our own blessings? Get in our own way?
I say it is simply a case of not believing we deserve it. There can be many reasons that lead to that belief
The lesson explains that I can be confused about what I want; that I can think pain is pleasure, or that joy is threatening. The latter is perhaps a little easier to understand since it is a common experience. Haven't you ever had the thought "This is too good to last"? Or perhaps you've found yourself very happy in a relationship and suddenly getting afraid of it because some part of you is nearly certain that if you keep your guard down you're going to get smacked good. I had a friend who somehow entered a very high and totally joyful state of mind and was there for nearly three weeks until she started thinking, "This is wonderful. I love everybody, I have no fear of anything, but if I live like this in the world I'm going to get crucified. Maybe I'm not enlightened; maybe I'm just insane." So she lost the joy, and it never came back in quite the same way.
We really do think that too much joy is threatening and dangerous. We value our suspicions. We cherish our defenses. We're afraid of simply opening up to joy. So, quite unconsciously most of the time, we request unhappiness. We choose not to be peaceful.
I have consciously been paying attention and started talking to myself "I choose differently" "I want to see this differently" "Let me choose again" making this a mantra
It brings me to the point of NOW, to remember that I deserve joy, I deserve a life filled with love and laughter and sometimes going through the fire with an open mind leads me there