Akosua Dardaine Edwards

Let's Share Lessons on The Journey

Akosua Dardaine Edwards - author, writer, coach, gender specialist, speaker

 

Empty Feelings

Empty denotes something negative, the idea that you had something, and now you’ve lost it. But I’ve learnt recently that empty is the lack of a male presence in my head. I am empty of worrying if he will or will not call. Empty of concern for his emotions and well-being. Empty of worry regarding his actions. This might just be called letting go, or moving on, or any number of things. But I also realised that I have reached a place where male validation, whether it be professional or personal, has no baring on me any longer. And I have grown in a world where so much emphasis has been placed on that male acceptance, that I am suddenly empty. Chronicles of Salma

So, as the Universe works, as I was talking about giving advice about relationships, I received phone call by a guy asking me to go for coffee. As I was about to politely decline, I realised this must be a sign! I said yes.

right away he asked if I was free on that same day - wow, talk about testing if I was ready. 

I said yes I would be free later on today, we decided to meet at Starbucks for coffee on a Monday night. I went with absolutely no expectations, I did go out with him a few times before. Bless him, lovely fella.

I decided in advance to put my phone away, be fully in the moment and suspend all judgements, to listen and be totally comfortable with myself. (this approach feels really good, I will definitely do this more for every task)

I had a pleasant time, I really did. I felt no expectation to please, to move forward, to call after, to text, according to Salma I felt her definition of empty. What startled me the most was when I felt that way I really thought something was wrong with me for a hot minute

There is nothing wrong with me,these feelings are valid, feelings can change. At this moment, it is what it is! 

I agree with Salma, I don’t know how long it will last, I hope forever, but I’m also not that naïve. I know that I’ve been a product of the system far too long to shake it off in a day. What I hope for above all else, is that we can somehow pass the message on to girls today, that the emptiness of being alone is a wonderful thing. That when you’re not worrying about male acceptance and attention, it leaves time and space to create so many incredible versions of yourself. If we could only raise a generation that didn’t need male approval, and a generation that didn’t ask for it, what a wonderful world we could create.

Your story is inspiring, your delivery is real
— Barbara Ince, President - Maloney Women's Group
The students who attended the function were so inspired by you they want all their friends to be exposed to your story.
— Cherisse Rawlins - Teacher Moruga Secondary
I must thank you for your presentation, many people were blown away by it.
— Sharon Christopher, Dep CEO First Citizens Bank Limited
It was a pleasure hosting you. Your reading from Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here? - was both thought provoking and insightful, thank you.
— Consulate General of the Republic of Trinidad and Tobago - New York
You are an inspiration to us all
— Marlene Charles, YWCA President
I can’t stop telling people about your presentation. You changed my life forever!
— Michele Celestine, Executive Director Heroes Foundation
What an honour and priveledge it was for me and my wife to host you during your stay in Washington DC
— Anthony WJ Phillips-Spencer, Ambassador Extraordinary Embassy of the Republic of Trinidad and Tobago
Unveiling was exactly what I needed, thank you.
— Participant at 2017's Unveiling- Looking into the Mirror of Self
Akosua, congratulations and thank you for that fabulous and thoughtful sharing from your book. I did NOTHING for the weekend but read your books. Madam, I found your story telling light and entertaining, true Trini style but DEEP.
— Sandra Ferguson, Agency for Rural Transformation, Grenada W.I
After hearing Ms. Akosua speak, I now know that I am everything and that I have everything to become who I want to be.
— Jenna Marie Bharat, Student- San Juan South Secondary School
Madam Akosua was awe inspiring. Excellent motivational skills. For me as a new retiree her words encourage me to “give back to the village”
— Anthea Doyle
Inspirational for both year groups. Forms 3 and 5. They were at the edge of their seats. prodding them to plan and even when things do not go as planned... to never give up when faced with life’s challenges
— San Juan South Secondary School