Akosua Dardaine Edwards

Let's Share Lessons on The Journey

Akosua Dardaine Edwards - author, writer, coach, gender specialist, speaker

 

Empty Feelings

Empty denotes something negative, the idea that you had something, and now you’ve lost it. But I’ve learnt recently that empty is the lack of a male presence in my head. I am empty of worrying if he will or will not call. Empty of concern for his emotions and well-being. Empty of worry regarding his actions. This might just be called letting go, or moving on, or any number of things. But I also realised that I have reached a place where male validation, whether it be professional or personal, has no baring on me any longer. And I have grown in a world where so much emphasis has been placed on that male acceptance, that I am suddenly empty. Chronicles of Salma

So, as the Universe works, as I was talking about giving advice about relationships, I received phone call by a guy asking me to go for coffee. As I was about to politely decline, I realised this must be a sign! I said yes.

right away he asked if I was free on that same day - wow, talk about testing if I was ready. 

I said yes I would be free later on today, we decided to meet at Starbucks for coffee on a Monday night. I went with absolutely no expectations, I did go out with him a few times before. Bless him, lovely fella.

I decided in advance to put my phone away, be fully in the moment and suspend all judgements, to listen and be totally comfortable with myself. (this approach feels really good, I will definitely do this more for every task)

I had a pleasant time, I really did. I felt no expectation to please, to move forward, to call after, to text, according to Salma I felt her definition of empty. What startled me the most was when I felt that way I really thought something was wrong with me for a hot minute

There is nothing wrong with me,these feelings are valid, feelings can change. At this moment, it is what it is! 

I agree with Salma, I don’t know how long it will last, I hope forever, but I’m also not that naïve. I know that I’ve been a product of the system far too long to shake it off in a day. What I hope for above all else, is that we can somehow pass the message on to girls today, that the emptiness of being alone is a wonderful thing. That when you’re not worrying about male acceptance and attention, it leaves time and space to create so many incredible versions of yourself. If we could only raise a generation that didn’t need male approval, and a generation that didn’t ask for it, what a wonderful world we could create.

Your story is inspiring, your delivery is real
— Barbara Ince, President - Maloney Women's Group
The students who attended the function were so inspired by you they want all their friends to be exposed to your story.
— Cherisse Rawlins - Teacher Moruga Secondary
I must thank you for your presentation, many people were blown away by it.
— Sharon Christopher, Dep CEO First Citizens Bank Limited
It was a pleasure hosting you. Your reading from Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here? - was both thought provoking and insightful, thank you.
— Consulate General of the Republic of Trinidad and Tobago - New York
You are an inspiration to us all
— Marlene Charles, YWCA President
I can’t stop telling people about your presentation. You changed my life forever!
— Michele Celestine, Executive Director Heroes Foundation
What an honour and priveledge it was for me and my wife to host you during your stay in Washington DC
— Anthony WJ Phillips-Spencer, Ambassador Extraordinary Embassy of the Republic of Trinidad and Tobago
Unveiling was exactly what I needed, thank you.
— Participant at 2017's Unveiling- Looking into the Mirror of Self
Akosua, congratulations and thank you for that fabulous and thoughtful sharing from your book. I did NOTHING for the weekend but read your books. Madam, I found your story telling light and entertaining, true Trini style but DEEP.
— Sandra Ferguson, Agency for Rural Transformation, Grenada W.I