Akosua Dardaine Edwards

Let's Share Lessons on The Journey

Akosua Dardaine Edwards - author, writer, coach, gender specialist, speaker

 

[What did I learn today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love] What happens when we bury our story?

Shame hates it when we reach out and tell our story. It hates having words
wrapped around it—it can't survive being shared. Shame loves secrecy. The
most dangerous thing to do after a shaming experience is hide or bury our
story. When we bury our story, the shame metastasizes - Brene Brown

Somehow there was always something happening around my life that had to be
sanitised. Ever since I've known myself, I believed that I must only show
my good side to “outsiders “ as I would be considered less than worthy and
in return that is what I demanded of the “outsiders”.

I would hear the adults at the house on the Terrace where I grew up talking
and the conversation seemed most of the time to be about who was making
mistakes and being foolish, who was not being a good mother and wife and
that shaped my view on what it meant to be excellent and suitable.

I made up my mind .I would be perfect. That meant doing well in school,
speaking well, behaving like a proper lady in public. This went on to me
making up my mind to getting married, having a good marriage, a good job
and doing everything well. There would not be a family conference on me for
sure!

Self imposed perfection, can be demanding especially when it's so many
times, untrue. I found myself working harder to keep up an image rather
than working hard on what really mattered like being true, honest and
saying how I really felt. Not letting people know where I am or how I felt.
If anyone asks, how are you? I'm fine! I wasn't fine! But I programmed
myself to say and act “fine”

I was the poster child for having it all together, for being “fine “. I did
well at school, boys were not even on my radar, I didn't go to parties. I
was content to be at home reading or watching football. If I asked to go
out, it was rare and if I was told no I would be upset for days and walk
around the house in a funk, talking to no one even when spoken to. It drove
my folks crazy.

Excerpt from "What Did I Learn Today? - Lessons on the Journey to
Unconditional Self Love"

-- Posted By Blogger to What did I learn today? Lessons on the Journey to
Unconditional Self Love on 6/17/2016 01:28:00 pm

Your story is inspiring, your delivery is real
— Barbara Ince, President - Maloney Women's Group
The students who attended the function were so inspired by you they want all their friends to be exposed to your story.
— Cherisse Rawlins - Teacher Moruga Secondary
I must thank you for your presentation, many people were blown away by it.
— Sharon Christopher, Dep CEO First Citizens Bank Limited
It was a pleasure hosting you. Your reading from Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here? - was both thought provoking and insightful, thank you.
— Consulate General of the Republic of Trinidad and Tobago - New York
You are an inspiration to us all
— Marlene Charles, YWCA President
I can’t stop telling people about your presentation. You changed my life forever!
— Michele Celestine, Executive Director Heroes Foundation
What an honour and priveledge it was for me and my wife to host you during your stay in Washington DC
— Anthony WJ Phillips-Spencer, Ambassador Extraordinary Embassy of the Republic of Trinidad and Tobago
Unveiling was exactly what I needed, thank you.
— Participant at 2017's Unveiling- Looking into the Mirror of Self
Akosua, congratulations and thank you for that fabulous and thoughtful sharing from your book. I did NOTHING for the weekend but read your books. Madam, I found your story telling light and entertaining, true Trini style but DEEP.
— Sandra Ferguson, Agency for Rural Transformation, Grenada W.I
After hearing Ms. Akosua speak, I now know that I am everything and that I have everything to become who I want to be.
— Jenna Marie Bharat, Student- San Juan South Secondary School
Madam Akosua was awe inspiring. Excellent motivational skills. For me as a new retiree her words encourage me to “give back to the village”
— Anthea Doyle
Inspirational for both year groups. Forms 3 and 5. They were at the edge of their seats. prodding them to plan and even when things do not go as planned... to never give up when faced with life’s challenges
— San Juan South Secondary School
She is complete, sincere and true to herself. Akosua relates to you on what is common in all of us, our humanity.
— Odella Jowaheer