Akosua Dardaine Edwards

Let's Share Lessons on The Journey

Akosua Dardaine Edwards - author, writer, coach, gender specialist, speaker

 

[What did I learn today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love] It does take courage to be the one who exposes themselves to others

It's always fear in opening up to one another that holds us back and stops
us from getting the support, help, love, encouragement and understanding we
need in life. Dawn Barclay

Let's face it, if we open ourselves up and feel more vulnerable in the act
of trying, why would we even go there? I'm not going to say 'just reach
out', 'ask for help', or 'let people in', because it is hard. I know that.
Everyone's content is different, complex and unique. And, sometimes, well,
sometimes the shame we feel about our own story is such a heavy weight, we
think we have to hold it alone because we feel 'it's all our fault'.

We're afraid that by standing emotionally naked before others dressed in
our struggles and fears they will judge us, misunderstand us, or push us
away. That if we expose our words and feelings we will be shown up as the
ones who aren't coping, or aren't enough, never mind good enough.

We don't want to be vulnerable.

We don't want others to see how much we are hurting. We don't want to be
the ones who are less than (what?), we don't others to see that we haven't
got it all figured out and are the ones who lose control at times.

We're so scared that if we remove the mask, release the guard and let the
brave face fall others will notice that we haven't got our life neatly
packaged up, that we've failed or falling. Heck, we don't want to be the
one who risks standing alone and appears to have lost our way and may not
make it.

It does take courage to be the one who stands, shares and exposes
themselves to others. It's risky, make no doubt.

It may not be well received, or our words may be used against us or thrown
back down at our feet at a later date when the meaning of what we said
today has changed, may have expired or no longer holds true for us.

Yes, we may expose our private world to another and – through no blame – we
assume they have understood our workings when they have merely run it
through their own experience and filtered into a box called 'What I think
you mean'.

With all that above, why would we share? Why would we risk it? Even if we
know and understand that we all carry our own struggles and suffering –
that we aren't alone - why allow others in our world if we run the risk of
leaving ourselves wide open?

You can choose to run the risk, or not. Fear will always hold you hostage
to the belief that nobody else is suffering the way you are. Fear won't let
you hear the words, 'You're not alone', no, it would prefer you didn't
notice them. Fear will always ask you to pop on your bravery mask and your
suit of armour and 'deal with it', it will keep hidden from you the others
wearing theirs. You get to choose, but fear doesn't always have your best
interests in mind. Peace

-- Posted By Blogger to What did I learn today? Lessons on the Journey to
Unconditional Self Love on 8/01/2016 03:55:00 pm

Your story is inspiring, your delivery is real
— Barbara Ince, President - Maloney Women's Group
The students who attended the function were so inspired by you they want all their friends to be exposed to your story.
— Cherisse Rawlins - Teacher Moruga Secondary
I must thank you for your presentation, many people were blown away by it.
— Sharon Christopher, Dep CEO First Citizens Bank Limited
It was a pleasure hosting you. Your reading from Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here? - was both thought provoking and insightful, thank you.
— Consulate General of the Republic of Trinidad and Tobago - New York
You are an inspiration to us all
— Marlene Charles, YWCA President
I can’t stop telling people about your presentation. You changed my life forever!
— Michele Celestine, Executive Director Heroes Foundation
What an honour and priveledge it was for me and my wife to host you during your stay in Washington DC
— Anthony WJ Phillips-Spencer, Ambassador Extraordinary Embassy of the Republic of Trinidad and Tobago
Unveiling was exactly what I needed, thank you.
— Participant at 2017's Unveiling- Looking into the Mirror of Self
Akosua, congratulations and thank you for that fabulous and thoughtful sharing from your book. I did NOTHING for the weekend but read your books. Madam, I found your story telling light and entertaining, true Trini style but DEEP.
— Sandra Ferguson, Agency for Rural Transformation, Grenada W.I
After hearing Ms. Akosua speak, I now know that I am everything and that I have everything to become who I want to be.
— Jenna Marie Bharat, Student- San Juan South Secondary School
Madam Akosua was awe inspiring. Excellent motivational skills. For me as a new retiree her words encourage me to “give back to the village”
— Anthea Doyle
Inspirational for both year groups. Forms 3 and 5. They were at the edge of their seats. prodding them to plan and even when things do not go as planned... to never give up when faced with life’s challenges
— San Juan South Secondary School