Allowing the In‑Between

Over the past few days, I’ve been struggling with the feeling of being lost. Presently, I’m in between contracts.

Waiting on the word to resume work. I paused events for a bit. And suddenly my calendar , usually full, buzzing, purposeful hadd one lonely item on it: boxing.

I actually chuckled when I saw it. Because I’ve grown so accustomed to working, doing, moving, producing, showing up, filling every hour with something that looks like progress. And here I was, staring at a day with nothing but gloves and a punching bag.

What do I do now?

That question surprised me. Not because I didn’t know what to do, but because I didn’t know how to be when there was nothing to do. This break which is partly chosen, partly given, left me feeling unanchored. And instead of rushing to fill the space, I decided to observe myself. What I noticed was… interesting. My conditioning told me that being bored is for kids. That adults should be productive. That maybe I was being lazy. That maybe I was wasting time. What kind of self‑talk is that? So I tried something different. I allowed the feeling to surface without reacting. Without running.

Without feeding a story around it.

And here’s what I learned:

Stop fighting the feeling.  The feeling is not the enemy.

Feel it in the body before acting it out.  Let it rise. Let it move. Let it speak.

Do not suppress it, deny it, or decorate it with drama.  It doesn’t need a narrative. It needs space.

Ask:  

How can I allow this feeling to be here without becoming it?  

How can I sit with this moment without abandoning myself?

Because maybe boredom isn’t a problem.

Maybe it’s a portal.

Maybe it’s the body saying, “Pause. Reset. Re‑center.”

Maybe it’s the spirit saying, “Let me breathe.”

And maybe — just maybe — allowing is its own kind of fun.

So I’m learning to allow.

To let the in‑between be a teacher.

To let the empty calendar be a blessing.

To let myself feel without reacting, and rest without guilt.

Allowing is not passive.

It is powerful.

It is presence.

It is trust.

Peace and Blessings

The Unproductive Truth

If productivity was never the measure of your worth, what part of your life would immediately become lighter?

Let yourself answer without editing.

Without performing.

Without trying to sound responsible or disciplined.

Then go deeper:

What would you choose to do today if “being useful” was not a requirement?  

Not what you should do.

Not what looks good.

Not what moves the needle.

Just what feels true.

And finally:

What version of you only appears when you stop trying to justify your existence through output?

That version ,the unhurried, unproven, unperforming you what does she want right now?