Life Experiences Are Feedback: Part Two Preparation vs Control

This morning, I found myself thinking about the difference between preparation and control.

At first glance, they can look remarkably similar. Both involve planning. Both involve thinking ahead. Both involve wanting something to go well.

But they come from very different places.

Today is the first day of the workshop I am facilitating. Government officials. Private sector representatives. Speeches to begin the day. Workshops to carry us through the rest of it.

One facilitator.

Me.

If I am honest, I feel nervous.

The subject matter is not something I have spent years immersed in. I am not the technical expert in the room. I am the person responsible for guiding discussions, creating space for meaningful dialogue and helping people move toward outcomes that matter.

And that feels like a big responsibility.

As I sat with my thoughts this morning, I realised that life was once again offering me feedback.

The preparation is mine.

The control is not.

I can prepare.

I can review my notes.

I can understand the objectives.

I can show up fully present.

I can listen carefully.

I can ask good questions.

I can trust the skills and experiences that have brought me to this moment.

But I cannot control who attends.

I cannot control who declines at the last minute.

I cannot control every conversation, every response or every outcome.

Yesterday, organisers were still confirming attendees. This morning, one of the key participants withdrew.

Last minute.

Important person.

The kind of thing that can easily trigger worry.

The part of me that wants everything lined up perfectly immediately began asking questions.

What if this affects the discussion?

What if people are disappointed?

What if it changes the outcome?

Then another voice quietly asked:

What exactly are you going to do about it?

Make excuses?

Complain?

Spend valuable energy wishing reality were different?

No.

The only thing available to me is the thing that has always been available.

Show up.

Do my best.

Let go of the rest.

Before the day begins, I walked to the beach.

The sea has become something of a teacher during this trip.

My lobster fisherman friend was there again this morning. He greeted me with a smile and proudly announced that he had sold his entire catch from the previous day.

I found myself genuinely delighted for him.

We walked together along the shoreline and talked. The conversation flowed easily, one stranger sharing a little piece of life with another.

At the same time, I noticed another lesson unfolding.

There was nobody else on the beach.

Just the two of us.

A small part of me felt hesitant.

So after a while, I trusted my instincts and brought the conversation to a close.

No drama.

No guilt.

No overthinking.

Just listening to myself.

I also let go of another plan.

I had intended to make a video during my walk.

It didn't happen.

The conversation happened instead.

And perhaps that was what the morning required.

There are moments when life asks us to hold our plans loosely.

Not because the plans are bad.

Not because preparation is unnecessary.

But because rigidly clinging to our expectations means we miss what is actually unfolding in front of us.

The feedback I am receiving today is clear.

Preparation serves me.

Control exhausts me.

Preparation allows me to arrive ready.

Control convinces me I am responsible for everything.

I am not.

I am responsible for showing up.

I am responsible for offering my best.

I am responsible for being present to what the day brings.

The rest belongs to the unfolding of life.

So this morning, I am choosing preparation over control.

I am choosing presence over perfection.

I am choosing participation over prediction.

And in a few hours, I will walk into that room, take a deep breath, and trust that what I have is enough for today.

Because perhaps that is what life has been trying to teach me all along.

Prepare.

Show up.

Let go.

Repeat.

Life Experience Feedback #2: Preparation is an act of responsibility. Control is often an act of fear. Learn the difference, and life becomes much lighter.

Peace and Blessings

Akosua