Reflections on Safety, Commitment, and Self-Trust
What Does “Uncommitted” Mean to Me?
I’ve been sitting with this word lately—uncommitted. Not in the dictionary sense, but in the way it lands in my body. To me, it means someone who jumps ship when something shinier comes along. Someone who abandons the cause, the conversation, the community—without warning, without weight.
It’s not about them, really. It’s about how I feel when it happens. I’ve noticed that when people around me act uncommitted, I react. I cut them off. I move on. I tell myself I’m protecting my peace, but underneath that is a deeper truth: I want to feel safe. And when someone leaves, I feel abandoned.
I’ve been learning not to take things personally. I’ve been practicing self-awareness—not to judge myself because when I don't judge myself I don't judge others, but to understand the why behind my reactions.
So now, when I feel that sting of someone pulling away, I ask:
• Are you safe?
• Is this about now, or are you being triggered?
• Are you being judgmental, or are you discerning?
These questions don’t always give me answers, but they give me space. And in that space, I find my breath again.
The Root of It All: Safety
What I’ve deduced in my quiet deliberations is this: I crave safety. Not just physical safety, but emotional safety. Relational safety. The kind of safety that says, I see you, I choose you, I stay.
And when someone doesn’t stay, I feel exposed. I feel like I wasn’t worth the commitment. But here’s the truth I’m learning to hold:
My worth isn’t measured by who stays. My safety begins with me.
I used to think my reaction was strength. That cutting people off was clarity. But now I ask—am I walking away from them, or toward myself?
There’s a difference between judgment and discernment. Between fear and intuition. Between abandonment and alignment.
So I’m choosing to center myself. To root myself in self-trust. To ask, What do I need to feel safe? and Can I give that to myself first?
Moving Forward with Grace
When I find myself in a space where others feel uncommitted, I pause. I breathe. I remember:
• I am safe.
• I am consistent.
• I am rooted.
And if someone leaves, I let them. Not because I don’t care, but because I do. I care enough to stay with myself.
Peace and Blessings
Rooted - The Series
I created Rooted for the woman who’s tired of shrinking.
For the one who’s ready to reclaim her joy, her boundaries, her truth.
This is not just a course—it’s a homecoming.
Begins October 5.
#RootedSeries #AkosuaDardaine #ReturnToYourself