The Shift from Over-Giving to Self-Respect

"When your safety once depended on being useful, agreeable, or invisible, you internalized harmful ideas, like: 'Don’t rock the boat.' 'Be grateful for any opportunity.' 'Give your best without expecting anything in return."— Dr. Mariel Burque  

This quote stopped me in my tracks. Not because it was new information, but because it voiced an inner dialogue I’ve wrestled with for years.  

As I transitioned into speaking, coaching, and providing online courses, the opportunities came fast. I found myself on TV interviews, podcasts, speaking panels—sharing my expertise with eager audiences. It felt like momentum. It felt validating. But something was missing.  

While my calendar filled up, my bank account remained stagnant. The responses were familiar: "There’s no budget for speakers." 

"It’s great exposure." And at first, I accepted it. Exposure was currency, or so I thought. Until the moment I asked myself—"what now?"  

The Fear Beneath the Silence 

When a learned colleague pointed out something I hadn’t fully acknowledged—I don’t ask because I fear rejection, and I don’t say no because I fear losing opportunities—it landed hard. I had to sit with that. And after sitting with it, I had to ask the next question: How do I move forward in a way that honors myself while still serving others?  

Shifting the Narrative

Here’s what I’ve learned in this journey:  

- Generosity should not cost self-respect. Giving back is beautiful, but it should be intentional, not assumed.  

- Value requires boundaries. If organizations and platforms want my expertise, they should recognize its worth. Exposure alone doesn’t pay rent.  

- Speaking up is not arrogance; it’s advocacy. Asking for compensation is not self-serving—it’s reinforcing the truth that labor and knowledge have value.  

Moving forward, I am setting boundaries. I am establishing a framework where my work is respected, compensated, and honored. And when I choose to give freely, it will be from a place of empowerment—not expectation.  

If you’ve ever felt the weight of over-giving, I invite you to reflect: Are you erasing yourself in the name of generosity? Or are you standing firm in the worth of your work?

Peace and Blessings

  Are you ready to stop second-guessing yourself and start embracing your own wisdom? Change is inevitable, but fear doesn’t have to hold you back. If you're navigating uncertainty and want support in strengthening your self-trust, I’d love to guide you through the process.

Through coaching, you’ll gain the confidence to act despite doubt, find balance between intuition and ego, and step into the life you truly want.

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