No Heat No Judgement
When we think we are unworthy, it means that, for some reason, we believe that we have to prove we have a right to our space on the planet, in life, as we are,".
"That means that we will do all manna of wonderfulness to prove we deserve to be here."
In that effort, we tend to go overboard in our everyday interactions.
"We over commit, over-give, we over-do, we over-excuse, we overcompensate, and we stay in difficult, desperate, hurtful, harmful situations much longer than it is wise or productive to do so,"
it's impossible to improve your self-worth without first recognizing your true value and seeing yourself as worthy - Iyanla
The moment I find myself defending a position, wanting to prove that my way is the right and best way I have to check myself. I am drifting into a realm of feeling either less than or better than. It may not come across that way. Real talk!
The need to get someone to agree with everything we say and believe is not just unrealistic, it is a testament of you not respecting differences of opinion and stepping out of your own business.
Yesterday my very good friend had a very passionate discussion about the role of men and women in the home, particular when married. Her view is that the man is the head of the home and makes the final decision. My view was different, I believe in mutual decision making.
I asked about if the final decision made is not in your best interest will it still be accepted. Her response was yes sometimes. That response bothered me, I started pleading my case, getting passionate and heated. I wanted her to see that those little decisions add up and then pierce your soul. It started turning too heated. I stopped. I literally stopped and thought, this is not your journey, even though you believe differently all you can do it live your life as a demonstration of what you believe and leave the rest there.
I have learnt to:
1. Respect other people's point of view even if it is different
2. There is nothing to prove to anyone
3. Live and speak authentically
Have you read any of Akosua's work?
Follow Akosua on