Do You Know Your "It"?
Most of us want to get away from where we are over to something else. Something spiritual, something peaceful, something successful. People are not in the way of your path, people are your path
This morning as soon as I woke up, I got a phone call, the insurance company, they wanted to know when I would pay by due bill. It triggered me immediately - pay my bill? It comes directly out of my bank account. They told me no it is a cash payment. I was even more pissed.
I asked them how did they receive the previous payment, the lady responded through the bank account, OK then so what changed? I did not change it!
She started being defensive, she started putting the blame on everyone else, I started doing the same!
Then it hit me:
1. I recognised what my trigger was in that moment- it brought up some fear, when the fear came up I responded in fear
2. Responding to defence with defence hardly ever produces solutions
I asked the lady to put herself in my shoes
I asked her if we can find a solution
She was still annoyed and talking away imploring me to pay the bill
I continued to be annoyed as well, lady I want to pay my bill, I prefer if you can do your job properly rather than call me before 8am, then the lesson kicked in
I asked her to consider the possibility that I only want a solution, that I am annoyed about the approach she took.
She responded by agreeing to do some more investigation and return my call. I counted that as progress
When we know what our "it" is, when we can call it, identify it, name it, then we are in a position to change, heal, improve, grow
Anything other than that is what we call here "spinning top in mud"
The next time you start defending, making excuses, rationales and justification
take a pause
lay down the excuses and reasons and ask yourself
is this my "it" and proceed accordingly
Have you read any of Akosua's work?
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