Healing Does Not Happen through Avoidance
You don’t heal just because you avoid triggers. You don’t heal just because you avoid being wounded. Healing doesn’t happen through avoidance. Healing happens through deliberate and intentional brave work. Healing happens by standing in the ebb and flow of life and relationships and finding new ways to communicate your pain and be heard. Healing happens when you find people who love you more than they need to defend and protect themselves. Healing happens when you listen and they listen. Healing happens through the bravery and courage.
Do not wish for a life free from triggers. Do not wish for a life free from pain. Wish and choose the abundant opportunities that allow you to have new endings to old stories. #mindfulmft
The strong narrative - the one where we are given points for not crying in public, in fact, points for not crying at all - the fellas are given that badge.
the one where we act tough as nails - pure hate and acting normal.
The silent narrative - the one where we are encouraged to "keep it quiet" not to shame anyone, and most importantly not to shame the family.
the one where we are also encouraged to "keep it quiet" until "it" is "fixed"
How does that work when "it" starts seeping out of us in the form of illness, emotional eating, being defensive, avoidance through overworking, shopping, sex, drugs?
Avoidance was my choice.
Just deliberately stay away from the situations that trigger me
Trust me, that shit is not a long term solution.
I am not saying to go looking for drama, I am saying if you are supposed to have a conversation, have it before the proverbial shit hits the fan.
If you ae avoiding hurt by not dating or getting close to someone, or isolation - this action will not heal the hurt or find you that partner.
Whatever you are avoiding, find the courage to face it, there is something empowering about not being an observer.
Have you read any of Akosua's work?
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