Akosua Dardaine Edwards

Let's Share Lessons on The Journey

Akosua Dardaine Edwards - author, writer, coach, gender specialist, speaker

 

Mirrors

You are the creator of your own reality, and so you are not in jeopardy. You do not need to control the behaviour of others in order for you to thrive. Your attention to things that you think they do keeps you from thriving is, in fact, what keeps you from thriving. It is not what they do to you; its what you do to you in fear of what you think that they will do to you Abraham.

I was having a conversation with someone I consider a friend, someone who I admire their resilience, discipline, focus and committment to making their life better despite their circumstance. I usually like chatting with my friend, as well as the odd hanging out, shooting the breeze, talking and laughing sharing ideas. 

I spoke to my friend last week and thought to myself that the response was a bit short so I asked if there was a problem, the response was that "I am at work, so cannot talk, have a good day" I accepted that and moved on noting to chat later.

I reached out to my friend over the weekend, with no response so I asked again if all was well or is time alone needed. No answer

I did this again

My friend told me that it's not personal but nothing was wrong but is not willing or wanting to chat with me and having difficulty in responding.  I responded that this is all good, just shoot me a message to say I am taking a time out.

My friend said to talk to me is a choice and not required, and I ought to know that the lack of response means that it is nothing personal but time is being taken away from chatting, that only respect and love is required, if I was looking for a friend to talk to everyday then I will not find it in this friendship. I was taken aback. shocked even

My friend went on to say that I am making this situation about me, taking it personal and  I have attachment issues, that a real friend will not judge or condemn this stance

Still shocked!

I responded that in the effort to not sound defensive I will not say anything except that there seems to be some misunderstanding, however, take all the time you need I am out!

I sat for a hot minute to process this, I asked a couple other friends if I have attachment issues, I googled the symtoms I could not believe it

why? because it was new information which stung me

Is this true? Do I have attachment issues? Is there something I require working on, is this a mirror? Were my intentions in this friendship off and this as well is a mirror?

I decided to tell my friend that I will take a time out, leave it alone for a bit and retreat.

Then when I thought about it, this is not the first time this has happened to me in some way, people retreating and dissapearing, people who I consider friends

I have been reflecting over the last few days on what my intentions are and what is the lesson?

On the plus side I get to see how my friend feels, I get to decide how I respond, I get to reflect and ask questions on what is the lesson

I must admit, at this point I am still processing it but willing to see what comes out of it despite the shake up!

Peace 

Your story is inspiring, your delivery is real
— Barbara Ince, President - Maloney Women's Group
The students who attended the function were so inspired by you they want all their friends to be exposed to your story.
— Cherisse Rawlins - Teacher Moruga Secondary
I must thank you for your presentation, many people were blown away by it.
— Sharon Christopher, Dep CEO First Citizens Bank Limited
It was a pleasure hosting you. Your reading from Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here? - was both thought provoking and insightful, thank you.
— Consulate General of the Republic of Trinidad and Tobago - New York
You are an inspiration to us all
— Marlene Charles, YWCA President
I can’t stop telling people about your presentation. You changed my life forever!
— Michele Celestine, Executive Director Heroes Foundation
What an honour and priveledge it was for me and my wife to host you during your stay in Washington DC
— Anthony WJ Phillips-Spencer, Ambassador Extraordinary Embassy of the Republic of Trinidad and Tobago
Unveiling was exactly what I needed, thank you.
— Participant at 2017's Unveiling- Looking into the Mirror of Self
Akosua, congratulations and thank you for that fabulous and thoughtful sharing from your book. I did NOTHING for the weekend but read your books. Madam, I found your story telling light and entertaining, true Trini style but DEEP.
— Sandra Ferguson, Agency for Rural Transformation, Grenada W.I
After hearing Ms. Akosua speak, I now know that I am everything and that I have everything to become who I want to be.
— Jenna Marie Bharat, Student- San Juan South Secondary School
Madam Akosua was awe inspiring. Excellent motivational skills. For me as a new retiree her words encourage me to “give back to the village”
— Anthea Doyle
Inspirational for both year groups. Forms 3 and 5. They were at the edge of their seats. prodding them to plan and even when things do not go as planned... to never give up when faced with life’s challenges
— San Juan South Secondary School