Akosua Dardaine Edwards

Let's Share Lessons on The Journey

Akosua Dardaine Edwards - author, writer, coach, gender specialist, speaker


[What did I learn today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love] We make unhealthy compromises because....

Be daring, be different, be anything that will assert integrity of purpose
and imaginative vision against the play-it-safers..." -- Cecil Beaton,

There are two kinds of compromise: the kind that heals you by expanding you
-- it's the healthy kind that stems from real love and grace. And because
it usually brings some delight with it, then doesn't feel much like a
compromise after all. And then there's the kind of compromise that bruises
your soul -- the not-so-healthy kind that is driven by varying degrees of
desperation and fear.

We make unhealthy compromises for three reasons:

  1. Fear that we won't get what we really want.
  2. Fear that we won't get what we really want.
  3. Fear that we won't get what we really want.

Fear that we don't get what we really want keeps us stuck! I wake up every
day and give thanks in advance for slaying the fear, for feeling the fear
and doing it anyway! And I give thanks in advance because I know fear will
come up and in my mind giving thanks in advance is a declaration that I
will indeed find a way to do what it is I am supposed to do despite me
feeling like wetting my pants, or feeling silly or losing a friend or
pissing off my family, whatever it is! I know that the fear is not real and
facing it will only make me like myself even more.

I'm getting better at it! Asking for what I want and feeling the fear and
doing it anyway! Practice makes masters.

I talk to myself into doing it, whatever "it" is and then when it's done
sometimes all hell breaks loose ( most times in my mind) and I expect the
unexpected and handle it! Whatever happens its all good because I either
learn from it or I am happy!

Today for example at the boxing gym, they sent me to warm up with the
biggest heaviest boxer in the gym, the guy is a machine. Come on he says,
let's go! I was walking slowly behind him like I was about to go to an
electric chair, he rubbed his hands together "You will like this!) Fear was
gripping me by the throat! So do I compromise? Na! I was all in, fear and

I must admit although tough it was the best warm up I have had since
starting boxing! Who knew????

There are other things I have done in the grips of fear as well, some
worked out how I wanted to and some didn't but I did it and have no regrets
and will learn from it for the future! Most times the fear comes up
with "people stuff". Relationships, whatever kind, are our biggest teachers!

I intend to keep practicing because life is a splendid ride and there is no
formula, no right and wrong way. Why fear a feeling? It will pass, trust
me, this too will pass!


-- Posted By Blogger to What did I learn today? Lessons on the Journey to
Unconditional Self Love on 3/04/2015 01:23:00 pm

Your story is inspiring, your delivery is real
— Barbara Ince, President - Maloney Women's Group
The students who attended the function were so inspired by you they want all their friends to be exposed to your story.
— Cherisse Rawlins - Teacher Moruga Secondary
I must thank you for your presentation, many people were blown away by it.
— Sharon Christopher, Dep CEO First Citizens Bank Limited
It was a pleasure hosting you. Your reading from Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here? - was both thought provoking and insightful, thank you.
— Consulate General of the Republic of Trinidad and Tobago - New York
You are an inspiration to us all
— Marlene Charles, YWCA President
I can’t stop telling people about your presentation. You changed my life forever!
— Michele Celestine, Executive Director Heroes Foundation
What an honour and priveledge it was for me and my wife to host you during your stay in Washington DC
— Anthony WJ Phillips-Spencer, Ambassador Extraordinary Embassy of the Republic of Trinidad and Tobago
Unveiling was exactly what I needed, thank you.
— Participant at 2017's Unveiling- Looking into the Mirror of Self
Akosua, congratulations and thank you for that fabulous and thoughtful sharing from your book. I did NOTHING for the weekend but read your books. Madam, I found your story telling light and entertaining, true Trini style but DEEP.
— Sandra Ferguson, Agency for Rural Transformation, Grenada W.I
After hearing Ms. Akosua speak, I now know that I am everything and that I have everything to become who I want to be.
— Jenna Marie Bharat, Student- San Juan South Secondary School
Madam Akosua was awe inspiring. Excellent motivational skills. For me as a new retiree her words encourage me to “give back to the village”
— Anthea Doyle
Inspirational for both year groups. Forms 3 and 5. They were at the edge of their seats. prodding them to plan and even when things do not go as planned... to never give up when faced with life’s challenges
— San Juan South Secondary School
She is complete, sincere and true to herself. Akosua relates to you on what is common in all of us, our humanity.
— Odella Jowaheer