Akosua Dardaine Edwards

Let's Share Lessons on The Journey

Akosua Dardaine Edwards - author, writer, coach, gender specialist, speaker


[What did I learn today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love] Mind over Matter

We are transformed by the renewing of our minds! Romans 12.2

Here are some of the most common mistaken beliefs that trip us up:

  1. We think way too hard about stuff.

  2. We tend to make things way more complicated than they need to be.

  3. We have trouble battling the gremlins in our head that tell us "it
    doesn't matter" or "I'll do it later."

  4. Or, sometimes the voices in our heads tell us that we can't do this,
    that we don't have any self-confidence, or that someone else is doing it
    better. The bottom line is that our mind tells us that we're not good

  5. Sometimes the voice is really really mean and goes so far as to invoke
    shame - "Who do you think you are," for wanting x or y or z?

  6. We question our decisions and doubt ourselves.

  7. We worry about the stuff that's either in the future or in the past,
    forgetting that life happens in this moment. Nope, I mean THIS moment. And
    then, THIS one.

  8. We worry because we think we have to stay excited about our dreams or
    they'll never happen.

  9. We lack self-assurance in our will, talent, and ability because we can't
    get past our limitations and the mistakes we've made in the past.

Basically, we've let ourselves down so many times in the past we find it
difficult to believe that "this time" it will be different.

Because it won't, love. Until we correct the problems with our thinking, we
can't begin effect right action, since all action begins in thought.

So, we barrel ahead with life unaware that is our habitually thinking that
keeps us stuck.

  1. We don't believe that we're worth it, or that we can do it. We feel
    like we're begin SELFISH to want more or like we're somehow cheating our
    families for taking something for ourselves.

  2. We think we have to be sure of what we want before we begin, since we
    have lost faith in ourselves we doubt what we think we want, perpetuating
    the problem.

  3. We tell ourselves that exploring the things we THINK we want is
    frivolous, and we feel guilty for wanting time to do that.

We still want it, though. And that gap between what we have and what we
will allow ourselves to have causes all sorts of pain and chaos.

  1. We have trouble keeping our focus on the promises we make to ourselves.

  2. We can't sustain our commitments because we forget that if we, for
    example, go to the gym today we'll be glad tomorrow. All we can think about
    is how much we don't want to go right now.

Oh, we yield way too often to the whimsy of the moment. Cause change feels
hard, the results are "out there" in the future, but the sacrifice is
happening RIGHT NOW and we're not sure we really want that thing we said we
wanted when we signed up for that gym membership ... masters degree ....
charity event... whatever.


  1. We think we need to know WHY we're not ready and fix that problem
    first. This is such a flawed strategy, because we spend most of our lives
    navel-gazing instead of LIVING into the bigger reality we want for

  2. We think we need to see "the big picture" and all the steps involved
    BEFORE we begin.

  3. We can't allow ourselves to take comfort in the journey because we fear
    we won't end up where we want to be. After all, look what happened the last
    time we didn't have the whole thing mapped out.

  4. We have difficulty keeping the momentum and excitement as strong as it
    was at the beginning of the promise we make to ourselves; and, even worse,
    we think that actually matters.

  5. We don't understand that it is DEVOTION, not love or passion that takes
    us to where we want to go.

Basically, a whole lot of our thinking is Bass Ackwards.

Fortunately, this is a simple, yet not altogether easy, problem to address.
Changing our minds takes time. It's a process.

Anyway, something to think about.

Thank you Jen for pointing these out to me!


-- Posted By Blogger to What did I learn today? Lessons on the Journey to
Unconditional Self Love on 3/25/2015 01:50:00 pm

Your story is inspiring, your delivery is real
— Barbara Ince, President - Maloney Women's Group
The students who attended the function were so inspired by you they want all their friends to be exposed to your story.
— Cherisse Rawlins - Teacher Moruga Secondary
I must thank you for your presentation, many people were blown away by it.
— Sharon Christopher, Dep CEO First Citizens Bank Limited
It was a pleasure hosting you. Your reading from Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here? - was both thought provoking and insightful, thank you.
— Consulate General of the Republic of Trinidad and Tobago - New York
You are an inspiration to us all
— Marlene Charles, YWCA President
I can’t stop telling people about your presentation. You changed my life forever!
— Michele Celestine, Executive Director Heroes Foundation
What an honour and priveledge it was for me and my wife to host you during your stay in Washington DC
— Anthony WJ Phillips-Spencer, Ambassador Extraordinary Embassy of the Republic of Trinidad and Tobago
Unveiling was exactly what I needed, thank you.
— Participant at 2017's Unveiling- Looking into the Mirror of Self
Akosua, congratulations and thank you for that fabulous and thoughtful sharing from your book. I did NOTHING for the weekend but read your books. Madam, I found your story telling light and entertaining, true Trini style but DEEP.
— Sandra Ferguson, Agency for Rural Transformation, Grenada W.I
After hearing Ms. Akosua speak, I now know that I am everything and that I have everything to become who I want to be.
— Jenna Marie Bharat, Student- San Juan South Secondary School
Madam Akosua was awe inspiring. Excellent motivational skills. For me as a new retiree her words encourage me to “give back to the village”
— Anthea Doyle
Inspirational for both year groups. Forms 3 and 5. They were at the edge of their seats. prodding them to plan and even when things do not go as planned... to never give up when faced with life’s challenges
— San Juan South Secondary School
She is complete, sincere and true to herself. Akosua relates to you on what is common in all of us, our humanity.
— Odella Jowaheer