The Duck, the Swan, and the Truth I Owe Myself

Self‑honesty is not for punks. It is a spiritual discipline, a muscle, a mirror, and a medicine. It is also one of the most essential qualities for living an authentic life. Iyanla Vanzant calls self‑honesty “the sacred courage to witness and tell the truth to oneself without distortion, denial, or shame.” That line has been sitting with me. Because the truth is: I have had many moments where I wanted something to be other than what it was.

My friend has a saying: “If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, as much as you want it to be a swan… it is a duck.” And whew, have I tried to convince myself otherwise. I have projected my hopes, my fears, my insecurities, my longing onto situations because I wasn’t ready to be honest with myself. And when I do that, I cannot make decisions that honour me, support me, or enrich my life. Distortion is expensive.

Self‑honesty requires compassion, clarity, and courage. Compassion to hold myself gently. Clarity to see what is actually in front of me. Courage to face the discomfort that truth sometimes brings. My intention now is to practice self‑honesty — not as a grand declaration, but as a daily, small, steady practice. A practice that builds my capacity to stay present with what is real.

So when I want to hide — self‑honesty.

When I want to slide into the comfort zone — self‑honesty.

When I feel myself shrinking — self‑honesty.

When I want to deny what is right in front of me — self‑honesty.

When I am projecting, distorting, or afraid to stand in my power — self‑honesty.

Because if I cannot be honest with myself, I cannot be honest with others. And that is the birthplace of resentment, blurred boundaries, and yes, dishonesty. Everything starts within. The truth is not always soft, but it is always liberating. And I am choosing liberation.

Ask Yourself - Where in my life am I asking something to be a swan when it is clearly a duck?

Peace and Blessings