Akosua Dardaine Edwards

Let's Share Lessons on The Journey

Akosua Dardaine Edwards - author, writer, coach, gender specialist, speaker

 

We Develop in Different Ways and Times

Our culture's obsession with early achievement has become detrimental to the majority of the population- to the multitudes of us who develop in different ways at different places. It pushes the message that you haven't become famous, reinvented an industry or banked seven figures while you're still young enough to get carded, you've somehow made a wrong turn in life. Rich Karlglaad


Okay, so confessions on the journey, I am terrified of "getting old" of "dying old"

I just had a birthday - these milestones have a tendency of sending me into a spiral of  overthinking. 

The overthinking leads to thoughts like : there is so much I haven't done yet and time is running out.

There is so much I must do and time is running out.

Am I too old for this shit?

Am I wasting my time waiting?

Am I not using time wisely?

Am I going to die old and alone?

(I told you it was a spiral)


I work myself up to a frenzy and it then becomes a whole drama going on in my mind about what to do, what not to do, and when to do it!

After calming down, I get to a point of acceptance where I say "self, it is what it is, until it is not, so what now?" 

The pressure I put myself under about where I am at the present moment is a combination of fear and uncertainty.


We move when we are ready

We shift when we are ready

We grow when we are ready

Ready is a decision, ready is a state of willingness, ready is a mindset of faith and courage.

Sometimes to get ready we have to go through many different journeys. Journeys take time.

So, here I am, after all of the stressing, recognising that all of the Journeys that I have been on has lead me to this here place, safe in the knowledge that the journeys will continue to lead me to exactly where I am supposed to be in the right time. If I am not ready, then I cannot move.

Get Ready!

Get Willing!

And in the meantime, enjoy the Journey

Peace


Have you read any of Akosua's work?

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love


Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?

Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal


Follow Akosua on

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Making Up Stories

It is our "job" to continue imagining higher states of being - higher thoughts, word and deeds, so we continue creating ourselves anew. Neal Donald Walsh

I wanted to know what was going on but so afraid to ask. I wanted to get the full story but really didn't want to be disappointed. So what did I do? I made up a story about it.

An elaborate one as well- mostly negative and drama filled.

What I have learnt is that making up stories is an easy way out until it starts affecting your real life and your real decisions.

Making up stories is exactly what it is- making up something that may not ever exist.

It is in no way easier than facing the truth, accepting the reality and feeling the feelings associated with it

It may be challenging for a little while, long term though making up stories keeps us in denial, unhealed and sometimes in the dark!

When you find yourself making up a story, especially a drama filled negative one, stop yourself, say "I am making up a story", chuckle to yourself. If you still feel the need to make up one, make it a positive, fun filled one.

Peace


Have you read any of Akosua's work?

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?

Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal

Follow Akosua on

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Facebook


Congratulations to the Success Laventille Secondary Class of 2019

Discomfort is a teacher; it’s an invitation to learn and grow. Rihard Rohr

Yesterday I had the distinct honour and privilege of speaking at a school graduation, and not just any graduation, the Success Laventille Secondary School Graduation. This school remains a beacon of light within their community. 

Despite all the challenges they face of being in the middle of a gang territory, the ones who made it through the five years showed up when they can to take advantage of the education that was on offer. 

They were persistent and resilient and confident.

They knew that they wanted to complete this part of their journey

They wanted to transcend their circumstances.

I salute them

I was humbled and privileged to be there because it is an honor to be considered as someone who can have an impact on these individuals who are now leaving their safe space to navigate out into the world.

I take these requests and responsibilities seriously.

I wish the graduating class of the Success Laventille Secondary School 2019 all the best 

Peace


Have you read any of Akosua's work?

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?

Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal


Follow Akosua on

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Instagram

Facebook

You Are Activity in Motion

“It is only when you take responsibility for your life that you discover how powerful you truly are.” Allanah Hunt

This is a friendly nudge to take responsibility for your own life

There is not YOU and LIFE

There is not YOU trying to do life

We are life itself - it is not happening to us

Turn to your own self as evidence of life

When you are coming up with the who you are, just don't come up with the things you have, the things you own, the outer things.

What is the activity of your life?

What is the vibration of your life?

What are you resonating with?

The test is to demonstrate what know and have considered a test.

Life is not a pop quiz.

Bring everything , bring all of you, bring it all together

It is time to stand on what we know, not on what we have

We waste time in judgement about how wrong a situation is, how wrong the situation we are in is - Let that go

We don't need the energy of what is wrong.

It's called healing, it's called growth, it's called transformation

You cannot heal what you don't feel

You have to be willing to stand in this NOW

Or sometimes we pretend it is irrelevant because we don't want to deal with it

Look at it

The question is will be who we really are?

Peace


Have you read any of Akosua's work?

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?

Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal


Follow Akosua on

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Instagram

Facebook



Everyone's Rituals and Road Maps Are Different

everyone's rituals and road maps are different. what works for you may not be conventional, or part of the collective idea that to be successful you have to follow a trend. find your rhythm how you see fit. it may not be in tune with the noise of commonplace notions.  Olivia Jade


There are many guru's, books, you-tube vids, apps and the whole nine yards giving advice on how to be successful. Sharing what worked for them has helped  many  recognise and realise their potential, however there are others who have read all the books, listen to the podcasts, attended all the workshops but are stuck! Does it mean that they are doing something wrong? that they are basically clueless? What is it?


I have learned that this is when we have to decide to set set our own paths, make our own habits and be willing to do different things to find your way. Not because your way is different it means that it not valid. And when we do this boldly and authentically it paves the way for others to do the same and know that they are not alone.

What happens is, we don't trust our intuition and our way because it has not been validated by others, there was no one famous who wrote a book about it, did a seminar and so on. Newsflash - those people were not always famous.

We are afraid to branch off on our own, do different things and rock the status quo.

Be willing to do things your way!

Listen, this is your life, your growth, your peace of mind.

Somebody else's way may work, or it may not.

The Universal Laws that exist work whether we believe it or not. I have learnt that living with the knowledge of these laws makes it less important for us to rely on external validation and praise combined with knowing who you are!


So:


1. Know who you are without the titles and things

2. Be willing to do something different

3. Know that there will be challenges and naysayers

4. Be disciplined and consistent

5. Feel all the feelings and let it go


You know you best and no one else can be you better than you


Peace

Have you read any of Akosua's work?

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love


Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?

Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal


Follow Akosua on

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Instagram

Facebook



Internalised Oppression

Do not throw away truth in favour of illusions ACIM

When I was out in Uganda,  We were offered this opportunity for  support from a well known ex politician from Texas USA who has since left office. 

The leader of the operation turned it down. I asked why, the world knows him and maybe we can get the electricity supply we need at our main base that we have been waiting and doing somersaults to get for over 6 months.

Sometimes I would ask questions and many times the response seems to have nothing to do with the question. I still listen because there usually was some lesson in there.

Madam, you were taught that “you are what you have”. 

That there is the power struggle! 

So you have learnt that if you have more you are more, I AM more. If you have less you are less, I AM less. 

So here comes the West oh look at how much less they have they must BE less. why?

Because you people associate yourself with what you HAVE. 

You are no more or no less than what you have, I am telling you that you are something, I’ve been telling you from the start and you don’t believe me because you don’t HAVE anything to show, you don’t HAVE it, you have no outer material possessions to back it up! Those “things” are not who you are!

You have been taught once I have it then I am it. No, it doesn’t work that way. That is Internalised Oppression. Nobody keeps you down, you’re doing it all on your own, you are doing it all by yourself. You convince yourself you can’t have it. What a way to keep the “isms” going.

Let us not get caught up in the charity trap that reflects a value judgement that because someone who has material wealth and want to “help us who has less” for publicity alone. 

Peace!!

Have you read any of Akosua's work?

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love


Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?

Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal


Follow Akosua on

Twitter

Instagram

Facebook

Gratitude is a Devotion

Gratitude is a devotion

It takes courage to be grateful. Guru Singh

Giving thanks for:

1. Watermelon this morning for Breakfast

2. Sunshine

3. Technology which allows communication with my friends throughout the world

4. Meeting new people and hearing their lessons on their own journey

5. Healing

6. The ability to speak and share lessons with my grandmother

7. Chocolate with nuts

8. Starch Mangoes

9. Courage to do new things and have new experiences

10. All the people I have met on the Journey thus far

Peace

Have you read any of Akosua's work?

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love


Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?

Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal


Follow Akosua on

Twitter

Instagram

Facebook


Instant Gratification is Unsstainable

I find one major block to creating lasting change is that many want instant gratification or a quick fix, even when it comes to healing. When I talk about the inner work and explain that results are all about small consistent steps, that doesn’t seem as appealing. But it works. When people ask ok but how do you do it, I say over and over again ‘repetition’ and daily practice. It’s not about learning more theory, adding in more steps or knowing more healing modalities. Just pick one reprogramming process and stick to it for 30 days. You will see results Maryham Hassna


This week I have been frustrated. I get frustrated when I feel that my process for attaining a goal is going too slow, I get frustrated when I cannot have things exactly my way.

I have been training with some runners since February. I have been waking up early at 4.15am to get to the place on time, breaking up my days to get to the training on the evening. Yet I have seen zero results, not on my body and not on my running and certainly not in the waistline!

I woke up this morning and refused to go, what's the point? I was basically so frustrated and slipped into the child like behaviour!

And right on time, the Universe responded, I read the passage quoted above by the brilliant Maryham Hasnaa and it dawned on me, consistency and discipline is always the formula, there really is no sustainable lasting quick fix. The other thing that dawned upon me is the part perception plays in forming my opinion. I have been comparing myself to the other seasoned running and to others. Comparison is a form of self sabotage. So, guess what? I'm done with that!

My perception - well taking the time to learn the lessons where this one is concerned, it is taking a bit longer to master this lesson.

The Lessons :


1. Be Patient - it takes time to build anything

2. Be Willing to see the situation differently

3. Keep reminding yourself of your intention - the why!

4. Feel the Feelings


Have you read any of Akosua's work?

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love


Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?

Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal

Follow Akosua on

Twitter

Instagram

Facebook

Perception Shifts

+ perception shifts // make way for your blessing. + intuitive impulses will crown you later. + manifest & materialize. + the revolution is seeded in the revelation. + inwardness doesn’t have to be a recoiling. + the art of letting go. Olivia Jade

 

I am always amazed at how simple life becomes when I am willing to just open my mind. That's it! I may not even do anything conclusive, only the opening of my mind. From the opening of my mind there is also the willingness to shift my perception.


Our perceptions come from a combination of our experiences, beliefs, surroundings and education.

Some of us never challenge these perceptions, and sometimes there is not a need to because they are serving our highest good. When they are not serving our highest good, we continue to persevere with them because its what we know, its convenient, its easy. 


So how did I learn to shift my perceptions? 

1. Be Willing to Keep An Open Mind - the mantra is "I am willing to see this differently"


2. Ask  Yourself - Are these beliefs serving me? and be willing to sit with the answer


3. Surround Yourself with New Experiences - do something new whenever you can


4. Speak to people outside of your circle to be exposed to different ways - suspend the judgement


5.Listen


Peace


Have you read any of Akosua's work?

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love


Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?

Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal


Follow Akosua on

Twitter

Instagram

Facebook


Subconsciously

Simply put, any thought, message or order that is given to the subconscious often enough and convincingly enough will in time be accepted as truth and consistently be carried out with exact precision irrespective of whether it benefits you or not. The most important thing you must know is that it is subjective in nature. This means that it can not reason or distinguish between positive and negative. Tania Kotsos


Our subconscious mind is an important part of our guidance system, it listens and creates. That's it. When we consistently feed it information and "instructions" it creates

What you see manifesting in reality is most times the thoughts and beliefs and instructions you fed to your subconscious playing itself out in reality.

The beautiful thing about knowing about the power of the subconscious mind is that we can pay attention to it and make a shift. It may not be easy but it can be done.

Pay attention to your thoughts and your beliefs even your words because the subconscious will reflect them back to you, positively or negatively!

Peace


Have you read any of Akosua's work?

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love


Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?

Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal


Follow Akosua on

Twitter

Instagram

Facebook

The Mirror is Your Friend

Essentially, the bottom line cause of break-ups and divorce is when one or both of the partners can no longer stand to see themselves in the other person. Dr Edrica Richardson


I continue to be fascinated by the concept that all of my relationships are mirrors, the good and the not so good within my personality is reflected back to me through the people that I have in my life, the people I like and the ones that I a have challenge liking. The reflections that I have difficulty in accepting are the things that show me where I need to grow, heal, release judgement and let go.


It makes perfect sense to me now that I feel so angry, helpless and sometimes even guilty when I don;t fancy someone.  The anger and such shows that I am really feeling that way about myself, I am having difficulty with the reflection. 


Now I can say that the mirror is really showing me where I have open wounds or unresolved issues. How marvellous is that, how wonderful it is to know when  people who frustrate us or make us unhappy leave our lives it usually means that the would is healed?


If we look at it that way then it makes the pain a little easier to bear.


The mirrors also show us our beliefs, some of which are harmful to us. We have all acquired certain beliefs throughout our lifetime that cause us to react and act in certain habitual ways that either support us or don't. 

The problem is that you did not consciously choose many (if not any) of those beliefs that govern your experiences and relationships at the subconscious level. Instead, your beliefs were, unbeknown to you, handed to you by society, the media, your parents and your friends. There are also those beliefs that came part and parcel with your culture and upbringing, and the stricter your culture in the area of relationships, the more ingrained those specific beliefs. 


Since your relationships are based on those beliefs, your experiences only prove to re-enforce them for you, thereby creating something of a virtuous or vicious cycle depending on whether your beliefs support a healthy and balanced relationship or not.


Now that I have learnt about mirrors I can now pay attention to how I treat myself, when I do this the people around me will reflect that.

I can also reduce the judgement that I  hold about others within my circle and those outside.

Peace

Have you read any of Akosua's work?

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love


Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?

Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal


Follow Akosua on

Twitter

Instagram

Facebook


Relationships Are Mirrors

The universe will perfectly align us with those who mirror back to us the areas in which we need to heal or they will mirror back to us the space of self-love that we've created. In this way, our relationships are our greatest spiritual assignments; they magnify whatever it is that's going on within us. Jennifer Kass


Relationships, I have learnt, are mirrors. I have said this many times before here It is yes a hard pill to swallow. Mirrors where we are able to see where we are, what we love and what requires healing, tweaking, shifting and re-affirming. 

When this is the case, do you adjust the mirror?

We really will be defeating the purpose if we change look to change the reflection

Newsflash- the reflection is you! And you have the power to make the change to you!


When a part of you is manifested through the actions of others, you must choose whether or not you want to keep this part of you alive. 

If you do, embrace it. Welcome it. However, if you determine what you see is not something you want in your life, if it is not a part of your nature that you want to cultivate, run! 

Run as fast as you can in another direction. 

Do not make excuses! 

Do not entertain the people or condition in any way! 

Do not make excuses!

 Do not entertain the people or the condition in any way! 

If you stay, if you involve yourself in trying to fix or change what is going on, you are dancing with a demon. 

Take just enough time to better understand what you are dealing with and to be able to recognize it when you see it again. 

See it.

 Accept it. 

Then reject it and haul ass!”

 Peace!!

Guilt is a Wasted Emotion

The idea is not to judge yourself, or even analyze what happened. It is simply natural (un-natural, really) for us to become afraid of being at peace, and therefore we will do things that bring about the opposite state.Not judging yourself means you are forgiving yourself, and forgiveness is the only answer that leads to peace. ACIM

Reading A Course in Miracles during my journey, time and time again the teachings insist that guilt is a wasted emotion. I did not get it. I kept asking myself how can guilt be wasted? Isn't all emotions valid? I was just not sure how guilt is a wasted emotion. I kept asking myself - what am I missing?

And then, like clockwork, the fog started clearing. Guilt is always disruptive, it is the voice of the ego ego. The ego believes in separation and so condones guilt. Delusional ideas are not real, but they can be believed, when they are believed the relevant actions follow. 


There are only two emotions, love and fear. Guilt is a form of fear. It all made perfect sense now. Guilt is a wasted emotion because it is rooted in fear and ego.

When we are guilty we look for punishment, and if we don't get it from outside we punish from the inside, we punish ourselves.


I have learnt that when a feeling of guilt comes, judgement follows and forgiveness should go right after that.


Simple just like that!

Peace


Have you read any of Akosua's work?

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love


Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?

Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal


Follow Akosua on

Twitter

Instagram

Facebook


I will not value what is valueless

I will not value what is valueless - ACIM

What do you value more than anything?

Can you measure it, count it, take it with you?

Is it tangible?


What brings you joy?

Is it something that you can touch, feel, smell, taste, hold, move take?


Do you even know what you value, what brings you joy?


After much thought and lessons, these are my top 6 things that I value - for now- because it changes:


1. Seeing the sun rise over the ocean - anywhere in the world


2. Seeing the sun rise on Mucurapo road on a Jouvert morning


3. Seeing the sun set on the African continent


4. Chatting with my grandma in her kitchen as she cooks me my favourite dish of bake and pumpkin


5. Being out in nature, hearing the birds and other sounds of nature


6. Watching Arsenal Football Club play football and winning in my favourite chair.


As I reflect on all of this I have come to realise that these things have absolutely nothing to do with anyone giving me permission to do, having loads of cash in my pocket, and all the other trappings that I put in my mind to say I need to live well. It's funny when I break it down like this I feel so much better than comparing it to what someone else says that I need to live full life

Choose what brings you joy, choose what you value and know that it is within you to access it and live it!


Peace


 Have you read any of Akosua's work?

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love


Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?

Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal


Follow Akosua on

Twitter

Instagram

Facebook



Individuation and Me

To find out what is truly individual in ourselves, profound reflection is needed; and suddenly we realize how uncommonly difficult the discovery of individuality in fact is. Carl Jung


Many of us have been socialised to believe that we must toe the line, follow the crowd, remain status quo and not be too different. Especially people of colour because there were consequences for being "too out there". Some were prepared to deal with the consequences and many were not ready or prepared.


I have been thinking about individuation and how going through the process of self reflection and inner work brings up to the fore what is inside of us, what our truth is. At times, this shift can be uncomfortable for those who make it, not only because it is new, it may go against everything we know and it is completely non status quo.

The process of self reflection and knowledge of self makes the isolation or differences of opinion easier to accept.

I have learnt that a lot of my angst lies in the non acceptance of the process of my own individuation and the fear that goes along with it. I have also learnt that it remains absolutely necessary to continue the process and step out on it despite the fear. Failing to do that will contribute to me living a lesser life and neglecting my truth.

Remembering that this too shall pass and paving the path for others is part of the journey in honour of those who paved a path for me

Peace


Have you read any of Akosua's work?

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?

Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal

Follow Akosua on

Twitter

Instagram

Facebook


Transformation Can Start Where You Are

Perhaps most of the people who have emerged from a setback stay in their same jobs, with their same lives, but they are different. It’s not about self anymore; it’s about relation, it’s about the giving yourself away. Their joy is in seeing others shine. David Brooks


I was thinking about transformation, what it means and what sparks it. I thought about how much a transformation in my eyes looked like a totally different life, a drastic move and just like clockwork I bumped into the work of David Brooks who makes the case for a transformed life and person can be just a about the transformation of behaviour within the same environment. I see that this point of view makes quite a bit of sense, it is not about changing places where you are but changing the attitude and approach of our responses. It is about what is now important to your life, the approach to challenges and set backs. 


Many times, the transformation is about shedding the ego, about giving and serving. This approach can be taken anywhere and at anytime. You can be in the same job, same marriage in many cases with this new approach.

Who Knew?

The Simple is so Profound!

Peace

Have you read any of Akosua's work?

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love


Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?

Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal


Follow Akosua on

Twitter

Instagram

Facebook

Your story is inspiring, your delivery is real
— Barbara Ince, President - Maloney Women's Group
The students who attended the function were so inspired by you they want all their friends to be exposed to your story.
— Cherisse Rawlins - Teacher Moruga Secondary
I must thank you for your presentation, many people were blown away by it.
— Sharon Christopher, Dep CEO First Citizens Bank Limited
It was a pleasure hosting you. Your reading from Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here? - was both thought provoking and insightful, thank you.
— Consulate General of the Republic of Trinidad and Tobago - New York
You are an inspiration to us all
— Marlene Charles, YWCA President
I can’t stop telling people about your presentation. You changed my life forever!
— Michele Celestine, Executive Director Heroes Foundation
What an honour and priveledge it was for me and my wife to host you during your stay in Washington DC
— Anthony WJ Phillips-Spencer, Ambassador Extraordinary Embassy of the Republic of Trinidad and Tobago
Unveiling was exactly what I needed, thank you.
— Participant at 2017's Unveiling- Looking into the Mirror of Self
Akosua, congratulations and thank you for that fabulous and thoughtful sharing from your book. I did NOTHING for the weekend but read your books. Madam, I found your story telling light and entertaining, true Trini style but DEEP.
— Sandra Ferguson, Agency for Rural Transformation, Grenada W.I
After hearing Ms. Akosua speak, I now know that I am everything and that I have everything to become who I want to be.
— Jenna Marie Bharat, Student- San Juan South Secondary School
Madam Akosua was awe inspiring. Excellent motivational skills. For me as a new retiree her words encourage me to “give back to the village”
— Anthea Doyle
Inspirational for both year groups. Forms 3 and 5. They were at the edge of their seats. prodding them to plan and even when things do not go as planned... to never give up when faced with life’s challenges
— San Juan South Secondary School
She is complete, sincere and true to herself. Akosua relates to you on what is common in all of us, our humanity.
— Odella Jowaheer