Akosua Dardaine Edwards

Let's Share Lessons on The Journey

Akosua Dardaine Edwards - author, writer, coach, gender specialist, speaker

 

Reprogramme Your Consciousness

Reprogramme yourself, Reprogramme Your Beliefs. Update. Replace.Reboot Your Consciousness - Iyanla Vanzant

I have been listening to Iyanla Vanzant's Fixin Online Course, the topic is Relationships, and there have so many penny dropping moments, it literally stopped me in my tracks.

What caught me was the concept of relationships being a mirror. The people that come into your life mirror either how you feel about yourself or what you need to heal.

A mirror or what you need to heal!

I had to ask myself - ok who are the mirrors. When I realised who were the mirrors I took a deep breath- do you mean I have been treating my own self like this? No bloody way!!! total wake up call!

Looking at the relationships in my life with these lens have given me a different perspective. One of discernment and compassion.

What do I need to heal

What do I need to change

What do I need to adjust

What do I need to forgive

Peace

Have you read any of Akosua's work?

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?

Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal

Follow Akosua on

Twitter

Instagram

Facebook

 

The 3 P's of Relationships

The three P’s—passion, power and pain—that are part of every relationship - Iyanla Vanzant


All relationships I have learnt takes a certain amount of vested interest. How we show up in our relationships will determine how we show out. 


Relationships mirror back to us where we are, what we are thinking, consciously, subsoncsiously and un consciously.

Look at the relationships in your life and they tell you a story, or maybe the lack of relationships

Be the relationship

Work

Friendship

Family

Intimate


our relationships tell us a story


The challenge comes in when we have conflicts, differing opinions and want our own way When we act and make decisions on fear and people pleasing.

There are tools which we can use to resolve conflicts, what happens is a combination of us not knowing these tools, not wanting to use these tools for many varied reasons including ego and wanting to be right and wanting to not look "bad" and the clincher is admitting our mistakes


Who likes admitting making a mistake?


All of it is part of the process, taking all as lessons and being comfortable with the discomfort knowing that in the long run its for a better situation.


Feel it all, the feelings are only guides

Peace

Have you read any of Akosua's work?

 


What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love


Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?

 

Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal

 

Follow Akosua on

 

Twitter

 

Instagram

 

Facebook

 

 

 

New Narratives on Strength

I used to think strong meant being tough, cold, hard, but I know now that that type of strength is a mask I used to cover up my fears and insecurities. Being strong has a lot more to do with softness than what I was originally brought up to believe Alexix Johnson


The image I had of a strong woman was one who never cried or showed emotions in front of others, can take multiple hits (life setbacks) and still remain standing and of course, look like a diva while at it.


I myself wanted to live up to that image


What I have learnt is, I can be soft and strong at the same time

I have learnt that vulnerability is strength and showing up real takes an enormous level of courage


Women are nurturers, we have the intuition thing down pact! The emotions we have are natural guides, to surpress that? for what?

I don't need a definition of some far away TV land of what strong is and this is a different time! I don't have to pretend to be a robot and not show emotion to anyone in the name of being strong! 

If being strong means hiding feelings, and supressing my true self then it's not for me!

So, do you have your own definition of what strong is>

Share it with us


Have you read any of Akosua's work?

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?

Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal

Follow Akosua on

Twitter

Instagram

Facebook

In Stillness Magic Happens

Everything that's created comes out of silence. Your thoughts emerge from the nothingness of silence. Your words come out of this void. Your very essence emerged from emptiness. All creativity requires some stillness Wayne Dyer


Yesterday a few friends and I decided to walk through the rain forest to see the Turure Falls. I have always wanted to go there and the opportunity presented itself yesterday which I took with both hands!

The drive to the entrance was just about an hour, then we had to park the car and walk through the rainforest to find the falls. The beauty of the falls we heard, is that there are 4 levels like fully formed steps, straight out of nature! I was excited to see this.


Whilst walking through the rain forest, the silence was deafening! The stillness was breathtaking, it actually woke me up. It almost felt like a bolt into my consciousness to say - take some time to be still, to be silent, to be awake!

The little reminders are always on time

We revel in the busyness of life, it is used as a validation of worth

We are too busy to eat properly

too busy to exercise

too busy to call a loved one

too busy to go to the doctor or dentist

too busy to sleep


Why?

Many times we want to feel important

Here is what I leant

Silence and stillness is also important, in fact, it is a powerful force

Have you heard the sun rise?

Have you heard the sun set?

Have you heard the moon come out?

Have you heard the sperm and the egg connect?


Sometimes the loudest lesson comes in silence


Peace


Have you Read Akosua's Books


What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love


Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?

 

Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal

 

Follow Akosua on

 

Twitter

 

Instagram

 

Facebook

You Live What You Believe

What you believe, you will repeat, over and over - Iyanla Vanzant

Core beliefs contribute to our decisions and ultimately our lives. There are times that our core beliefs limit our growth. Unconsciously we believe what we were taught as children many times after we have either outgrown them. We believe some of the religious core beliefs even though they may not be relevant to the times. Myths handed down that are not questioned may also lead to a life less fulfilled.

So, the question is, what do you believe? And if you don't know for sure, look at your life, whatever is inside will manifests itself into your reality. It really is that simple

The part which may be challenging is accepting and facing the unconscious beliefs.

So if you believe that you are unworthy or not enough this is what you you will attract into your life

You attract what you believe!

If you believe you are the bees knees, you will treat yourself accordingly

Belive baby, Believe!!

Have you Read Akosua's Work:

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here?

Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal

Are You Ready to Do What It Takes?

Ask For What You Want and Let the Universe Fill In The Details - Iyanla Vanzant

Asking for what I want has historically been a challenge. Why?

1. As a child it would usually come with either a lecture or a no

2. As a wife and partner it would sometimes  come with "stop being a nag"

3. As an employee it sometimes would result in changed conditions.

So what do I do?

Stay in the corner and don't rock the boat.

After a while feel a sense of resentment

Health issues ensue when the resentment builds up and then shit hits fan

If it is not dealt with the cycly continue

So asking for what you want takes courage, it takes willingness, it takes persistence and determination, it takes guts, it takes backbone, it takes doing the work.

Are you ready to do what it takes to get what you want?

Peace

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here?

Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal

Hold Still

“Hold still. Stay there. Tease back the layers. You are in the space between your comfort zone and infinity. You want to hide. Not be seen. Not be open. Not be vulnerable. But you have to. There are two ways to do this – soft and gentle or fast and hard. Both will get you to the other side, if you let them.” – Jeanette LeBlanc

The entire concept of feel the feelings took on a whole other level of significance for me!

Yesterday I was listening to a conversation, and let me tell you, it is the barefaced truth that we can get lessons from anyone and from anywhere!

The conversation was centered around how busy she was and how strong she had to be for her kids while going through a divorce. Strong enough to sign up for a PhD and to keep it together with no tears!

So why no tears? Why is that strong? - well because I don't want the kids to see me as weak and crying all the time

So why are you so busy with doing a PhD - well I have to provide for my children

Is it okay for the kids to not see you at all, whilst you are having class at night? And do you need a PhD to provide for your children?

What do you believe about crying is weak? What is the alternative to crying? How do you let out your heartbreak in a healthy way?

Many times we mask our feelings and look for external validation

We hide the feelings and it manifests in anger towards others, busyness, and sickness

Many tmes we look for external validation to let us know that we are okay

more qualifications, more brand names, more material possessions

So, why not feel the feelings

Why not spend some time with the kids then go to your room and cry?

Why not?

It kills two birds- spending time with your peeps and releasing the hurt!

And it cost less too!

 

Peace

Make Better Choices

Life is made up of an infinite amount of choices. Most decisions, such as what you’ll eat for lunch today, are small and only slightly impactful, but it’s the big decisions—the ones that can change your life forever—that are tough to make. - Lydia Sweat

 

In January of every year I come up with three different mantras for the year. For 2018, my three mantra's were

 

1. Make Better Choices

 

2. Show up Real

 

3. Let go when you have done all you can

 

 

The second and third one has been easier. Make better choices has been the challenge.

Why? I act on impulse, I feel it, I do it. When I follow my intuition it works out swimmingly! it may not even make an inkling of sense the feeling and the doing it. But I press ahead like a champion. 

When the decision is made in fear, the outcome is fear based. 

So when faced with a decision, the mantra kicks in "Make Better Choices" 

Once I get still, my intuition whispers to me

Once I get busy the fear steps in

 

Make Better Choices - choose in Love not Fear

Make Better Choices - choose your intuition sometimes over logic

Make Better Choices - think about the big picture

Make Better Choices - believe in yourself

Gentle reminder to self!

 

Peace

Difficult Conversations

Remind yourself that if you think you already understand how someone feels or what they are trying to say, it is a delusion. Remember a time when you were sure you were right and then discovered one little fact that changed everything. There is always more to learn.”  Douglas Stone

Difficult conversations are just that, difficult!

I still avoid them like the plague, less so now

As a recovering people pleaser I abolutely cringe in making peole who I like or respect mad. I know, I know, it is part of life that everyone will never see eye to eye with all our philosohies and beliefs. That is all well and good in theory, in the real world it scares the bejesus out of me! I usually dance around it and skip around it until what happens? either shit hits fan or the person disappears from my circle. Both scenarious that could have been avoided with only a willingness to be vulnerable.

Vulnerability takes a whole heap of guts, let me tell ya!

So here is what I have learned in having difficult conversations:

1. Be willing to be wrong.

2. Show up real.

3. Be willing to walk away

4. Don't hide your feelings- feel them

5. Know that you cannot please anyone.

6. Be fully engaged.

Peace

 

 

 

Wealth Can Come From Within

Most people are kept in a state of fear, jealousy, competition, comparison, complaining, and disillusionment. This leaves you open to be easily manipulated and controlled. You are convinced that you need money in order to have worth. This belief will indeed keep you poor. The wealth that we are speaking about is the wealth that comes from being a sovereign and free spirit and in alignment with the true knowing of who we are. Maryam Hasna

The world we live in is one where money is a requirement for survival. Money, they say, make the world go round. Many of us have grown up around the beliefs that without money we are nothing, that we are less than or that our lives will be less than as we are not able to afford the finer things in life.

The majority of our decisions are made "because we have money" or "because we have no money"

The challenge begins when these decisions made "because we have no money" starts affecting our self worth and enoughness. It's a creeper, your language starts changing, soon enough you are cutting off yourself from others in the name of "having no money"

The Universal Laws reflect that what we focus on grows, focus on having no money, things being hard, being broke and all that goes with it, attracts more of  the same

I am not saying when money is not readily available to you that yu bury your head in the sand or pretend that you have, I am saying that there are certain decisions bing made on the premise that there is no money when sometimes there are creative ways to do what is required, I am also saying that there will be problems when the amount of money available to you at any one time affects your mood, self esteem and enoughness

 I love the definition - Money is My Own Natural Energy Yield

The definition reflects our responsibility for our own energy.

There are many decisions that we can make differently despite the non appearance of money at the moment. There are some things you can start, that you can do, that you can believe, that you can speak, that you can focus on until the money comes to you.

 

Give it some thought

Peace

Have you read any of Akosua's Books

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

Nyabo( Madam) Why Are You Here?

Daily Lessons on the Journey

Who Is In Your Corner?

Who is In Your Corner? Kate Courageous

This morning I had the absolute honor and priveledge to be invited on to Hearbeat Radio for Women with the Lovely Natacha Jones, Candy and Lisa McLean of MomsConnect to discuss their upcoming Monther's Day event at More Vino South and to chime in on the question "Does it Take A Village?"

I love these conversations because it allows for so many different points of views to be heard and expanded upon.

The conversation really hasd me reflecting on who is in my village.

Who is in your village?

Are they there by default? Did you choose them? Will they remain? Are you even in their village?

And why is this even important?

I think for me, having a safe space is my village, one where I can just be! Where I can unfurl. Where I can fail forward, make mistakes minus the judgement but adding in the constructive loving feedback

Do we just keep people in the village by default? Or do we choose?

Do we feel safe in our village?

Do we have fun in our village?

Do we expand in our village

Ask yourself and then get down to the business of building one because it really does take a village

Peace

 

 

 

Self Conscious?

self-consciousness is the assassin of intimacy. And lying is born of self-consciousness. People lie because they worry about what you're going to think. They lie because they are afraid of how you are going to perceive them. They lie because they are self-conscious.  Stacy Herrera

 

Self Consciousness as defined by the Merriam Webster Dictionary is "uncomfortably conscious of oneself as an object of the observation of others"

 

I wanted to break this down for my own understanding. Confessions on the journey I have been feeling quite self conscious over the last few days.It is indeed an uncomfortable feeling!

 

"as an object of the observation of others" - this is really the part that floored me. The uncomfortable feeling comes because  of the observation of others, it may not even be factual! 

Sometimes, we make up stories, we compare ourselves, we listen to people who do not know us, we listen to feedback that comes from a space and mindset of fear or status quo then we process it and start feeling uncomfortable, we start reacting to it by how we behave.

Gentle reminder to self:

1. Set Your Own Standards - High! And then  aim to meet them. If you have no standards, get some

2. Believe in yourself - or who's gonna???

3.Show up ready and prepared - armed with your high standards and self belief

4. Keep an open mind - we realy do not know everything!

5. Keep going - it takes courage to slay the doubts

6. Love yourself through it all - your self talk is important

7. Do the work

 

Peace

Have you read any of Akosua's books? You will not be disappointed!

 

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

 

Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here?

 

Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal

 

 

Spicing the Spice Isle - Day 5

Love as a tool for Disruption - Layla Saad

The workshops are finished. A group of 15 people from all over the Caribbean came together this week under the PISCES project, with the aim of improving communities and lives. Nothing much more makes me happier. The sessions were long but fun, the people were knowledable and lovely. The co-facilitators were excellent, I love working with Keisha, I learn so much from her and give thanks for the opportunity to be able to do sessions with and spend time with her.

After the workshops, the readings began, I was grateful for all present. I had fun. I learnt that I must market my programmes more agressively and sometimes differently in different markets. I learnt that taking the country's culture into consideration is important, I learnt that I must show up with my whole self no matter who is in the audience, I learnt to expect the unexpected and handle it

I learnt that there is room for everyone on the planet to do their thing, we all contribute to the whole.

Back to Trinidad Today!

Peace

Spicing Up The Spice Isle Day 4

There's been so many things that's held us down
But now it looks like things are finally comin' around
I know we've got, a long long way to go
And where we'll end up, I don't know

But we won't let nothin' hold us back
We're putting our selves together
We're polishing up our act!
If you felt we've been held down before

I know you'll refuse to be held down anymore!
Don't you let nothing, nothing
Stand in your way! Ain't No Stopping Us Now

 

 

 

Yesterday we went to the other side of the island, visited a sea moss farm and a comunity business. Both having massive impact on the community. To see the people in their element was a treat, it was inspiring, it was educational, it was an eye opener. I always admire anyone who go after their dreams no matter what!? Everytime I meet any one I like that I get a little bit more courage to live my best life, this is one of the main reasons I go, and it is always a bonus to support our brothers and sisters

So thank you to Wilan Andrew od W Andrew and Associates Seamoss Enterprises and Gouyave Fish Friday Association for sharing lessons on the Journey



Today is also the book reading..... excited!

Spicing Up The Spice Isle Day 3

the reality is, I want to share my work in a BIG way! And I want to be brave enough to step out on the edge with the hard stuff. That means my chances of messing up are high, so instead of avoiding the hard, scary stuff, I’ve got to be willing to stay open and learn from others. Sara Alvarado


Fear - what a hell of a thing! I keep myself in a box because of fear, this feeling reared it's head here on the Spice Isle in two instances

I walked to the beach, I mean out of a post card, white sands, blue water, empty beach, I looked at it lovingly but I would never step in the water! It scares me shitless!

When I was younger I almost drowned twice, the feeling of helplessness, I never let it go. It still lives within me, on top of that, I have a fear of wearing a swimsuit, yup there it is, I said it! I feel soooooo naked and judged, I know I know It is all me and in my head, still holding on to those fears which has me missing out on white sandy beaches all over the world!

The other fear, a woman told me at the workshop yesterday that she uses the TedTalk that I had the absolute priveledge delivering and What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love - the book that I also had to absolute priveledge in writing - as part of her tools when she delivers programmes to young ladies. It blew me away and I got scared too. What if it does not help them? Wht if they rebel against using it? What if, What if, What if!

Fear! 

If I want my message and journeys shared I must be willing to step out of these comfort zones, so with you, what boxes are you still in because of fear? In what ways are you holding yourself back?

After processing all the what if's in my mind - that took about 3 minutes, I told her thank you and smiled. 

Peace

Spicing Up The Spice Isle Day 2

Little things seem nothing, but they give peace, like those meadow flowers which individually seem odorless but all together perfume the air. Georges Bernanos

Grenada is lovely, the laid back vibe is unmissable, the people are friendly and the hotel that put us up is just fabulous! And it is close to the beach - nothing beats that!

I took the opportunity to run to the beach this morning at 6am, to my surprise the beach was full of people, seems as though it was a senior citizens party that was either starting or continuing. Senior citizens were there having a good time. I smiled at the scenes, I smiled because the simple things can bring us so much joy, nature, the beach, good friends, companionship! The little things are usually the big things

The excitement they were giving off made me stop to watch them further, and I smiled more

What a great simple way to start my day

I will be co-facilitating a workshop today, giving thanks for the oportunity to share lessons on the journey

 

Peace

Your story is inspiring, your delivery is real
— Barbara Ince, President - Maloney Women's Group
The students who attended the function were so inspired by you they want all their friends to be exposed to your story.
— Cherisse Rawlins - Teacher Moruga Secondary
I must thank you for your presentation, many people were blown away by it.
— Sharon Christopher, Dep CEO First Citizens Bank Limited
It was a pleasure hosting you. Your reading from Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here? - was both thought provoking and insightful, thank you.
— Consulate General of the Republic of Trinidad and Tobago - New York
You are an inspiration to us all
— Marlene Charles, YWCA President
I can’t stop telling people about your presentation. You changed my life forever!
— Michele Celestine, Executive Director Heroes Foundation
What an honour and priveledge it was for me and my wife to host you during your stay in Washington DC
— Anthony WJ Phillips-Spencer, Ambassador Extraordinary Embassy of the Republic of Trinidad and Tobago
Unveiling was exactly what I needed, thank you.
— Participant at 2017's Unveiling- Looking into the Mirror of Self
Akosua, congratulations and thank you for that fabulous and thoughtful sharing from your book. I did NOTHING for the weekend but read your books. Madam, I found your story telling light and entertaining, true Trini style but DEEP.
— Sandra Ferguson, Agency for Rural Transformation, Grenada W.I